How To Get Him To Admit His Feelings For You (The Most EFFECTIVE Method)
How do I get him to talk about feelings? I admit that this is something I need to learn more about myself. I love my darling man, but I’m often frustrated at his lack of communication.
The truth is that I want him to be more chatty, able to traverse multiple topics at once and more open to share his feelings. In other words, I want my man to be more like a woman.
We women make that mistake often; expecting our men to act like women. Hate to tell you (and admit to myself) but that that’s never, ever going to happen. Their brains just don’t work like ours. If you want your partner to chat you up and openly share feelings, you’ll have to change teams.
For me, I’m staying pat. I’ll take a little frustration in exchange for all that manly, yummy stuff that turns me on.
Okay…I’ve set some realistic expectations for you. Now let’s talk about the ways in which you can get your man to open up even just a little more. And let’s hear it from a M.A.N.
I asked a thoughtful and skilled writer, Ben Neal, to write about how to get men to open up for my Date Like a Grownup community. Whether you’re dating or in a relationship, getting men to talk about their feelings can be one of our most frustrating challenges . There’s good news though: When you’re dating or in a relationship after 40, your men are grownups too! As Ben discusses, they are more open to connecting on a real emotional level, you just may have to teach them how.
Ben publishes some of his articles on Elephant Journal, which was recommended to me by a Facebook friend. (Thanks Lisa!) Now, I’m not much of a “woo-woo” kind of gal, but Elephant Journal, which says they are “dedicated to a mindful life”, has a lot of inspiring, uplifting and thought-provoking articles. I’d check it out, as I think many of us (including myself) can benefit from approaching our life in a more mindful conscious fashion.
I want to hear from you! What do you think of his advice? What have you done that works with your man?
Here are Ben’s really powerful tips. Thank you Ben!
Experts have been telling us for decades that communication is the key to a strong relationship.
For most women, communication could be defined simply as talking about your feelings – something that many men are unable or unwilling to do. This leads to one of the most common relationship myths: that men don’t have feelings.
Of course men have emotions. We feel just as strongly as women do, with just as much depth and subtlety. The difference lies in our emotional vocabulary.
Men are not raised to talk about their feelings. It’s perceived as a sign of weakness, it brings ridicule and torment. Instead we learn to keep quiet and “deal with it” on our own. After a lifetime of silence, the whole spectrum of human emotion tends to be simplified into good or bad, happy or mad. It’s either “I’m fine” or “Go away. Leave me alone.”
It takes time to unlearn these tendencies. It takes time to learn how to explore our emotions and express them out loud. It takes patience, love and support from the ones close to us.
Here are some tips for you to help your man to tear down his emotional iron curtain.
1. Pay attention to body language.
Guys do show how we feel, even if we don’t say it out loud. Most men tend to withdraw when under stress. When your man is moody and tense, no matter how badly you want to understand, no matter how tempting it may be, now is not the time to prod him. Be patient, give him space, and wait for the storm to pass. You are much more likely to get through to him when he is relaxed and at ease. And he will find it much easier to talk about what’s bothering him after he has put it behind him.
2. Show appreciation.
A man may show you how he feels for you by holding your hand, or touching the small of your back; he may bring you flowers or surprise gifts. He may show you he cares by working on your car, fixing things around the house, and just generally “taking care of business.” Tell him how much you appreciate these things, how much it means to you. Positive encouragement can be very effective.
3. Do something fun together.
If your guy has trouble talking about how he feels, then just sitting down and talking one-on-one is going to make him feel awkward, and make it even more difficult for him. Some men absolutely dread it when their woman says, “Let’s talk.” They go into complete lock-down. So instead, plan a fun, physical activity. Go to the bowling alley or the golf course, or just go out for a walk. This takes the pressure off, gives him something to focus on, and makes it so much easier for him to loosen up and talk freely.
4. Talk about things he cares about.
If you want your man to open up about his feelings, you may have to step out of your comfort zone a bit, too. Take the first step, and talk to him about sports, or movies, or poker – whatever it is he’s into. Some men are silent about how they feel, but they love to talk about what they think. Get intellectual with him, talk about business, politics, philosophy, and you may have him chatting away happily for hours.
5. Don’t make assumptions.
When your guy does open up and start talking, listen without leaping to conclusions. Remember, a man’s mind just doesn’t work the same as yours. If you start reading into everything he says, it is bound to lead to misunderstanding. So listen. Just listen.
6. Be direct.
Don’t insinuate. Don’t drop hints. Don’t beat around the bush. Your man isn’t going to be able to read you like your girlfriends do. He doesn’t pick up on the same things. If you want something, ask for it. If you feel there is an issue that needs to be resolved, say so. If you ask, “Why don’t you ever tell me how you feel?” you’ll get nowhere. Instead say, “I want to get know you better. I want to understand how you feel about this. It’s important to me.”
There is no “one way” to get a guy to talk about how he feels. Every man is unique, and every relationship too. But if you and your partner are committed to each other and your relationship, and you’re committed to learning and growing as individuals, then together you can learn to remove the barriers and communicate like grownups.
There’s more for you to know if you want to keep him sharing…
More information about Ben:
Ben Neal Ben is a poet, musician, and freelance writer from Kansas City, MO. (Where my husband is from, btw.) He loves to be outdoors, camping, bike riding or working in the garden. You can connect with him on Facebook, and read more of his writings at the Elephant Journal.
- April 17, 2021, 7:45 am
- April 8, 2021, 7:58 pm
Didnt bloody work. Complimented my earings n asked for a kiss. No feelings involved
- April 8, 2021, 8:30 am
My boyfriend has never had a rea relationship he tells me he loves me i know he wants to say more he says if he says how he really feels i may take advantage of him how can i assure him i lobe him I’m not going anywhere that I’m not the other females he’s bern in and out with I’m not gone hurt him so he’ll feel more comfort in opening up his feelings he has for me
- March 5, 2021, 3:51 pm
Hi. I met this guy online two months ago and first time chatting to him I enjoyed the conversation, he was so funny, free spirited person, easy to talk with and made me laugh. Same day of chatting, he asks me if I could be his woman and be his and I said “yes” let’s take it slowly. But as weeks went he changed into being that bubbly energetic guy I fell for. He wants me to text first, he does not talk much, I initiate most of the conversations but when I complain he says he’ll do better and change. And for me I want him to open up more be more chatty, call me every day because he doesn’t he is more flexible into chatting I see and I love to see him call. The worst part is I fall inlove everyday for him and I love him now and mind you we are in two months now. His very good looking Ooo I forgot to mention his from UK so his excent I love too and he loves mine because I’m form SA. What to do? please help
- January 19, 2021, 3:25 am
what should i do? my man thinks im careless.but im not.he thinks ill cheat on him. he says he is scared of loosing me. but im scared of loosing him tooo. he thinks i dont value him or i dont know his importance but its wrong. i care about him.he means a lot to me. never have i been insincere or dishonest to him.i cause him so much damages but then its unintentional, he gets sad with my carelessness.what should i do?
- January 11, 2021, 10:30 pm
Thanks for the straight forward advice!! Reading this and the comments of women who are dealing with the same things (and their conclusions) has helped me already to feel less negative about the fact that he clearly is very into me… and demonstrates it with action… but as another woman said “I don’t even know if he likes me”. I’ve never dated someone who quite literally is terrified to even say he simply likes me. I read tarot and before i met him I learned I’d meet my counterpart, my soul mate. I still get the positive cards for our relationship but it recently spoke to my depression or other emotional blockages getting in the way. I don’t display depression constantly and we get along great and have a wonderful sex life, etc., I truly do feel he’s the one, and unlike the others… he shows it with action (flowers, helping me constantly but won’t let me help him much lol). Just never has verbally said much of anything. It’s only been four months, I have to remind myself. I talk a lot. And have truly worked on becoming a much better listener (Non Violent Communication and Untethered Soul really helped me with this and letting go of painful energy), and I feel like this relationship really is the test. He said it took a while for him to warm up to talk about feelings with his ex wife, but he’s said she’s a golden retriever and he never felt she “truly saw” him…. anyway, I am just happy I am not alone with dating someone who doesn’t tell me how he feels about me (even to the extent that he won’t say anything when I look pretty, just get really big eyes).
- August 31, 2020, 3:33 pm
Hi. So, I have spent much of the last several years researching men with the intention of understanding them and, hopefully, resulting in a successful relationship. I have learned so, so much and I love the advice you have given. My recent dilemma is that, it seems that my bf will only partake in conversations that he is interested in. I have started to stop trying. I walk away, do my own thing and maybe call a friend. Long term though, I dont see how this could work. While I have tried all of what you have said, I dont think it’s wrong of me to expect some of my interests to be discussed as much as his. I’m starting to feel resentful and we both know where that can lead. Any advice would be much appreciated!
- August 24, 2020, 3:53 am
i find this very difficult as my partner doesn’t talk to me ever, yet can talk to my mother and his friends fine. And when i try to get him to “losen up” by doing some sort of activity he doesn’t listen to me and will forget what i have said 5 minutes later. So i cant communicate that way, and i have him talking about things he likes all the time, so much he doesn’t even remember things i like to do and talk about anymore, its like he just doesn’t think about me. Only him.
- June 26, 2020, 1:16 am
Yea thanks alot this will really be helpful to me because I am in a situation where I don’t know where I stand thanks alot I really appreciate
- June 6, 2020, 10:36 pm
Kind of frustrated. According to this, a woman has to compromise her emotions till “he’s ready, not distracted, not tense, not doing what he wants to be doing…”
Guys, heads up. Sometimes you need to try equally as hard to understand us. You’re not our child.. you’re our man. Let us lean on you. We too need reassuring that we matter to you. We have “hard days” too.
If just listening is inconvenient, or you can’t handle emotion in any other format than yours, you’re probably causing pain.
Pain will almost certainly become resentment.
You give attention to your hobbies, friends, jobs, etc….or you lose hobbies, friends and jobs, etc.
Don’t forget that you may end up with “alone time” from a woman forever if you don’t *occasionally* let her communicate with you her way.
She’s probably adapted to you more than you know.- June 24, 2020, 2:20 am
I couldn’t have said it any better!! Especially when we actually have kids it’s hard to have your partner being just as much of a stress as our kids. We don’t need you to act like a woman when it comes to emotional expression/connection. We just need to be able to have conversations with you about somethings and get an actual reply to what we are talking about instead of talking to you for 10 minutes about something to get a “yeah” “no” “mmhmmmm” “yep” etc. We need to know how you feel and think about what we are talking about! We need you to open up about what makes you happy, sad, mad, excited, etc. If you can express feelings emotions and thought during sex you can express then outside the bedroom.
- June 24, 2020, 2:20 am
- May 8, 2020, 12:07 pm
You said “be direct” I have been direct on how are things are. How “I” feel. He agrees with what he hears says he understands where I’m coming from, yet things go back to dead after a few weeks. Nothing is more frustrating than what I feel is a one way relationship.
thank you for the rest.
- April 24, 2020, 1:38 am
Thank you so much for such advice. I least I can get him tell his feelings to me.
- March 25, 2020, 12:57 pm
This doesn’t make sense. It’s just tips to appease your man. It’s nothing to help you communicate or get him to. I feel like this writing should be published in a magazine you see at your local grocery story checkout isle.
- March 9, 2020, 3:37 am
Hello Bobbi,
What do I tell a man that emotional down due to the lost of his late wife. It has been one year.
- February 25, 2020, 7:55 am
Is this a good thing to send. To me your amazing and I have fallen for you hard , but I’m often frustrated at your lack of communication. I understand
Men are not raised to talk about their feelings. It’s perceived as a sign of weakness, it brings ridicule and torment. Instead they are taught to keep quiet and “deal with it” on their own. At different times I do see a glimpse of how you feel by the way you holding my hand, or touching the small of my back, grabbing and holding me close at random in the middle of the night, by working on my car, and just generally “taking care of business.” You have no idea how much i appreciate these things, and how much it means to me. Another thing is I want to get know you better. I want to understand how you feel about this; about us? It’s important to me and means a lot to me. - February 9, 2020, 8:06 pm
I enjoyed this message can’t wait to learn more!!
- January 20, 2020, 5:43 pm
This didn’t help me much because I just wanna know if he likes me not how to handle a man.
- December 28, 2019, 3:54 am
Thank you both so much for the words of wisdom and encouragment, I was/am excited and hopeful for the possibility of at least getting my very introverted amazing boyfriend to open up enough… He has said “well you’re here right” when I said ” I don’t even know if you like me”. Nice to know what not to do as well.
Sincerly,
Jackie Long - December 10, 2019, 2:32 pm
Well… I been with my partner for 3 years. He was so emotionally attached to his feelings. By this i mean, he would poor his heart out to me, hold me when I’m sad. Now… it is only over text and never to my face, i feel like he gets frustrated and he’s not emotionally attached no more? Is it normal to think he’s else where or to comfortable? I have provided him with 100% loyalty, commitment, affection & being a damn right good girlfriend. I never beat it around the bush as i’m super direct but honestly i’m so confused. If i ask him he thinks I’m being silly as he loves the bones of me? Am i over thinking?????
I need advise as its driving me round the bend.
- November 21, 2019, 10:35 am
It’s been 2 years I’ve dated and now my boyfriend has taken a break. He said I never understood. I never realized that he’s not comfortable sharing his problems. He never shared any of his problems with me because he thought I will not understand. How do I understand if he is not sharing anything with me. I want to put in efforts and understand him make him comfortable. I don’t know how to do this. We are friends for now but I want to get back with him .. can someone help me how do I convince him to share his problems with me
- January 20, 2020, 5:45 pm
Don’t worry just tell him, “I can’t understand because you don’t tell me anything”, but also just give him his space he’ll come back at some point.
- January 20, 2020, 5:45 pm
- November 10, 2019, 2:12 am
It definitely encourage me nd learn a lot of things
- October 16, 2019, 12:19 pm
This was helpful but I have tried all this we have been together for 2 years and we are married and he doesn’t act the same way he did when we first got together and he ain’t open like he was day one doesn’t talk to me ain’t open to talking anymore I just dont know what to say to him or even think sometimes I feel like he dont feel the same way about me anymore.
- November 8, 2019, 1:05 am
Ask him on a date, say it’s for him and he can choose where to go, could be anything doesn’t have to be just lunch, and if he agrees ask him while youre out about getting back closer like how y’all use to be because you miss him.
- November 8, 2019, 1:05 am
- August 23, 2019, 4:02 pm
The problem with this is some men are emotionally abusive. The have no intentions on talking to you and don’t car about how you feel. They will hold you in limbo and have you wait for something they never plan to address. They get joy form ignoring you and even gaslight often. Women who read this and are abused my think they are the issue and just need to wait it out. That’s a sloppy slope that they will never be able to climb. No the difference between a man who just need a little patience the one who is emotionally damaged. That should be addressed here.
- May 24, 2019, 8:01 am
This was very helpful. Thanks.
- April 17, 2019, 10:33 am
First of all, I also write for Elephant Journal and even if you are not a yogi and into doing meditation you can still practice living a mindful lifestyle, for sure.
Second, this is very good advice, coming from a man who is obviously very in touch with his creative and sensitive side. Being a poet, a writer, gardening and into mindfulness. However, it would be amazing to get the perspective from a male who is more on the alpha side and not so in touch with his “feelings” per say. I would love to see the contrast (if any).
In any event, I think both men and women are constant works in progress when it comes to expressing their feelings. I think its important to consider where the person is in their life, how they were brought up, etc. I also think its critical to understand what you are in need of. Is it validation? Do you need constant attention? or do you just enjoy knowing how your partner feels. Is he emotionally blocked or is he open to learning how to express himself? Each male/female is different as is every scenario.
For me, it is important for me to feel connected to my partner on a very intimate level. Actions surely do speak a lot louder than words sometimes, but at other times its just nice to hear you are missed or that you look beautiful, etc. - March 25, 2019, 8:24 pm
I can only say that the nicest thing anyone can do is to be kind . Woman are made just for that . Our truest nature is to bring warmth and love into any situation. And my God with so many harsh realities woman have endured So Have Men. I agree to bring things back to beginning as it was meant to be. I the woman will be playing the Woman …kind warm loving accepting and respecting of the feelings in ones heart. And oh boy do men feel. Imagine how hard for them to be taught to hide and hold it all in . While we can say anything out loud. I want so to help my new boyfriend to feel Safety when in my presence as if he can act a fool and let words slide easily from his tongue. And I want him to feel how awesome it can be share what’s in his heart with me as who else can he. I am willing to be that safety net . He offers so much that is overlooked by so many woman. Let’s build up our men and make them feel like the heros they are for us. Why not. What can it hurt to exude love happiness and kindness. Unconditional love for your man can only bring about that mirrored return woman so long for. Try it . I’m going to. I am proud to be on this side of love. A giving woman is one who has everything. Thank you for all of your advice and wisdom
Donna - March 10, 2019, 4:39 pm
my man likes to write quotes and one day he sent some really deep and sad ones. like you don’t write things that deep without feeling anything, so i asked him that are you okay ? if you wanna share you can with me i am here for you!! but he just said its okay i am not at all sad or anything!
i am worried that he is not sharing his some deep feelings with me and just struggling with them alone.
i dont know how to make him share his feelings with although i do each and everything that has been written up!!
so any suggestions? - January 17, 2019, 11:45 pm
I did not find this helpful, it’s basically making men’s lack of social skills acceptable and we should just deal with it. What happened to compromise?! If we have to accept there ways then they should meet us half way. Tip 4 is so sexist , do you not think women are just equally interested in intellectual conversation!?
- March 11, 2019, 3:40 am
I totally get where you are coming from. We are trying to get rid of these stereotypes but many people still fall back on them. Don’t read too much into it though.
- March 11, 2019, 3:40 am
- December 18, 2018, 10:53 am
Great article I think I have to work on the “Listen, just listen” part. Because my career is in the solving sitautions adhoc and looking for immediate solutions when someone talks to me I am always generating 3-4 ways of solving the situation so they feel I am not really listening but trying to solve their lives and I have been told before that it is a turn down but I continue doing it and I don’t know how to stop it.
- August 28, 2018, 4:22 am
Appreciate these helpful insights about men and how to connect with them more effectively so our relationships with them are stronger. Thank you!!
- February 18, 2018, 4:30 pm
When something is upsetting me or my partner and affecting our relationship, It needs to be addressed and sorted out so we can move on. ‘Being patient’ and ‘waiting for the storm to pass’ isn’t that simple!
The issue is here and now, and so are my feelings of frustration and unimportance from being ignored. It’s very difficult to sweep my emotions under the mat along with the issue, smile and wait for him to turn the TV off so we can talk about cars! How is that a positive step? And at what point can I raise the issue that’s under the mat and not hear “did you have to bring that up again? ”
This process then repeats itself whilst I tip toe around my partner, feeling emotionally numb, tripping over the lump in the mat!!
Your advice is very one sided.- March 25, 2019, 8:27 pm
When your upset not a good time to try to rationalize things for either of you. Just think about how many times you had an issue one day and next day it wasn’t so important anymore after sleeping on it.
- March 25, 2019, 8:27 pm
- November 12, 2017, 2:40 pm
Thank-you so much! I was worrying that he didn’t feel the same way about me as I do about him. Now I can relax into the signs that he does show and not worry about the lack of emotional words.
- June 7, 2014, 1:12 pm
“6. Be direct. Don’t insinuate. Don’t drop hints. Don’t beat around the bush.”
I don’t really think it’s fair to put that out there without adding the caveat that women who do that will get punished for doing it by the men they do it with.
” Be patient, give him space, and wait for the storm to pass. You are much more likely to get through to him when he is relaxed and at ease.”
I also don’t think it’s fair to act like either the woman or the couple has the time to wait around for this all the time. “Patience” and “waiting” have consequences. Some things are, in fact, time-sensitive. Bills. Roof leaks. Babies.
Also, men are rarely relaxed these days. Everyone is busy. And if you do approach them when they’re relaxed, you are likely to be punished for infringing on “the only time they have to themselves” … not to speak of which, it directly contradicts the “don’t approach when they’re winding down from being tense” advice … which means we women *never* get any time when we can work things out with them, and we end up having to try to solve all the problems ourselves.
We’re supposed to give men all this room to have a problem-free life. But somehow, they don’t give us the same privilege, because they apparently “need all this space” — and so we end up having to solve couples’ problems with half the person power. When do the women get time to relax? Where’s the reciprocity?
Men understand deadlines when it comes to their work lives. I think it’s fairly selfish for them to abandon that kind of reasoning when it comes to their personal lives and being part of a couple. More than that, women are never suppose to mind, never supposed to care, always be “carefree”, no matter what it costs them and regardless of the damage.
I just … really don’t understand how that’s fair. Or “Grownup”.
- July 30, 2015, 3:04 pm
Agree here…it seems this is a man’s wirkd and we have to pander to it…….yes they can learn to U dear stand us too…it’s simple love and respect us and treat us like no 1. I’m not going to grow a man up or train him, that was his mothers job.
- October 26, 2016, 5:20 am
You’re too right. How much effort does it take to listen? I’m sick of being considered a nuisance for bringing up stuff that matters to me. He was so sweet when we met and now just pretends not to get emotional stuff.
- October 26, 2016, 5:20 am
- February 19, 2017, 9:09 pm
so are you saying there is no good time to talk to a man ever, cause that is what it sounds like .I have learned a lot about a mans body language and can read them pretty well , I am always grateful for what a man dose for me , I like doing things with them , I have even do things I never thought I would do some times it is fun and some times it is not , at least I put in a afford , I do my best to ask them what they like , why they do the job they do , what do they like the most about that job, what do they like to do in their spare time etc,,,,,I have learned never ever assume anything as it only makes an ass out of you , I am direct but do it in a respectable way , and still get one word answers or no answers at all , so what now ? ( yes some times they may not be into me and thats okay with me too! ) hum…. you have me lost now ! I do not understand how anyone can have a relationship if it is all one sided and you can not talk to a man about anything this dose not make any sense , communication is so very important , but what about real life , is a women too handle it all while hes off in la la land , hey bin there done that and it dose not work !? so tell me some thing that I do not know because I agree with what you have said , I get it , it is just kinda un realistic , life is way much more than that , I treat a man like a king in a relationship ! I know when to pull away and give him space , I am missing something here
- March 25, 2019, 8:32 pm
Honestly I understand your frustration but as we read earlier men’s brains are wired differently. I don’t think I want my man to be like me really . If I think about it this is why I love the man. Because he is the man in all his manly ways. But they can be taught very easily when it’s done in a womanly way. Woman are the warm tender side . When you step back and treat him the way you want him to treat you he learns from you. It’s really that simple. Kindness breeds kindness .
- March 25, 2019, 8:32 pm
- July 30, 2015, 3:04 pm
- June 7, 2014, 10:25 am
I love getting a man’s point of view. This article goes a step further and gives actionable steps —do this, not that. This is priceless. Thank you so much!
- June 5, 2014, 6:09 pm
Thank you guys! Very enlightening!
Lia - June 5, 2014, 5:28 am
Thank you Ben and Bobbi for these very helpful tips… 🙂
hi there! so I’ve been seeing this guy since November which makes it now 5 months that we see each other about once to 3 times a week! he has a son that he sees quite often but doesn’t want to introduce him to me just yet. now when we first started seeing each other we made an agreement where this is only casual as I just got out of a bad relationship 2 months before him, so that’s how it’s been. just casual. but he is so hard to read lol I started really liking him about 2 months in. I didn’t say a word because part of our agreement is if one of us starts getting feelings for the other, then we would end it as its not what we’re looking for. n he seemed to have made it clear that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship. now what I don’t understand is he shows me how passionate he is in bed and with showing his affection towards me is just heart melting but it doesn’t tell me if he really likes me though. so spring is here now and he tells me he has alot ofnwork to do in his yard to get it ready for summer and he’s been getting his son more often since his ex works at night so he watches him on those nights. I don’t know if I should trust him going to his ex’s for the night but I do wanna give him the benefit of the doubt, thinking he’s telling me the truth. now we’ve known each other since we were 6 yrs old but lost contact for so many years after 14 years old. so obviously we’re trying to get to know each other again. and I’m absolutely falling for this guy the more I know about him but I’m afraid that if I tell him how I feel he’s gonna tell me that wasn’t part of the deal and he’s gonna end it right then and there. I obviously don’t want that so I don’t know what to do or how to ask him how he feels. he shows me he cares alot by the things he does for me around my house but he’s been pulling back so much and not texting me every night for the passed 2 months or so. so I’m feeling him pull away but I don’t know if its because he’s getting feelings and doesn’t want to so he’s backing off slowly, or he’s just not that into me and is backing off slowly not to hurt me… so hard to read men. especially I this situation. can you help me please? I don’t know how to approach him and ask him how he feels about us and I wanna know so that I’m not wasting my time. yes I made that agreement with him but thats not how I feel anymore and I’m afraid if I do communicate with him then he’s just gonna leave. my toddlers are already attached and God knows I am too! I really don’t wanna lose this perfect real man that’s so rare to find these days! how do I ask him how he feels about me? I need help and reassurance please