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Monday, 20 September 2021

How can I be surrounded by smart people?

 5 Things Smart People Never Do

The first question that merits an answer is what makes an individual smart:

Is it the abundance of facts that one can memorize? Is it the above average, or exceptional, IQ? Perhaps, it is the wisdom to make a sound decision at the crucial moment, or knowing how to make the best out of the bad situation? Maybe it is the ability to take as many aspects as possible into consideration before deciding on the future course of action?

It is probably a good combination of all the previously mentioned traits.

Of course, if someone is smart and successful, it is hard to pinpoint what exactly is responsible for that person’s success and wellbeing. Truth be told, it is far easier to notice what these smart people don’t do, and arrive to a conclusion as to what is to be avoided. As long as we circumvent these negative things, the rest will come naturally.

How to Unlock Your Innate Genius | Sadhguru Answers

1. They don’t overlook the possibility to save money.

Prudence is a virtue, not to be mistaken with greed or stinginess. Being able to handle your finances and save by avoiding unnecessary expenses is an admirable quality.

In fact, it is surprising how many small details there are, warranting closer scrutiny. These seemingly meaningless expenses can be easily avoided, and the amount of money you can save can amount to something rather significant.

7 Ways to Identify Intelligent People

What they do instead:

For starters, buying a tap filter can reduce the money spent on bottled water. Opting to refill a printer cartridge, rather than buying a new one is another judicious investment. Replacing light bulbs inside your home with those that conserve energy is yet another wise choice. Utilizing apps to reduce credit card processing fees, or choosing a big bank as your provider instead of your local town bank, is also a good decision.

The internet has an unfathomable amount of quality content, both educational and entertaining. Paying for a cable or entertainment magazine subscription is undeniably meaningless. Almost anything you are after can be found online at cheaper price, either as a streaming service or as an online news article.

The point is learn how to fully realize the things you are already paying for or have at your disposal – that’s what being smart is all about.

Signs Someone Is Intelligent - AskReddit

Learn more about how to manage money from here: 20 Tips To Help Your Better ManageYour Money

2. They don’t heavily rely on others.

There is nothing wrong with having friends, family members or coworkers you can trust and rely on. Everyone should have someone they can count on when things go tough.

Heavily relying on someone, however, only portrays you as powerless. As a smart individual, you should never indulge such a commodity.

What they do instead:

You can have a brilliant mind, outstanding intelligence, etc. but if you do not put those traits to good use, you will only come off as incompetent. When you are in need of assistance, pay close attention to see if your problem was truly difficult. In a great number of cases, it is our fear and insecurity that prevent us from acting.

10 Problems Only Intelligent People Have

There is always a thought “What if I only make things worse?” The thought is perfectly justified. The unwillingness to overcome such a fear on the other hand isn’t.

Learn to be more confident in yourself from here: How to Be Confident: 62 Proven Ways to Build Self-Confidence

3. They don’t act irresponsibly.

Do not mistake this statement as “Smart people don’t have fun” or “Smart people are boring.” You can have fun, you can have a drink or have a good laugh. Irresponsibility does not equal uninteresting, it only means you like to have an organized lifestyle.

15 Ways Intelligent People Deal With Difficult and Toxic People

Superior organization leads to greater efficiency, whether you are a student, an employee, a business owner, an artist or a celebrity.

What they do instead:

We all have certain responsibilities and they are not always imposed by someone else. Putting them off for no valid reason is simply packing to travel into a more stressful future. Almost everyone experiences how being irresponsible tends to backfire, but smart people practice what they learn from such inconveniences.

Here are 5 Tips on How to be a More Responsible Person

Jordan Peterson: Advice for Hyper-Intellectual People

4. They don’t feel defeated when they need to reevaluate their convictions.

Our environment, our parents, our education and our past are all responsible for forging our convictions and our perception of the world. It leads to a creation of what is referred to as “umwelt” which roughly translates as “self-centered world”. Umwelt is more connected to how we create the image of the world surrounding us by using our sense, but it can be extended to our point of view on philosophical matters.

The convictions we acquire throughout life are not wrong per se, but are very likely to be proven incompatible when exposed to an entirely new experience or more difficult questions that need answering.

Also, if you move out and change the environment, you are likely to witness different patterns of behavior. Education or lack of education in some areas resulted in the blooming of other human qualities. Sooner or later, our convictions are challenged. Sometimes they will triumph, sometimes they will be trumped.

Jordan Peterson: Guys who are too nice? Good luck.

What they do instead:

Smart people constantly challenge their convictions; they do not discard them. They reshape them and they allow them to grow proportionally with their new experience.

Don’t miss out on the opportunity to broaden your mind-set! You are not defeated if you gained something valuable.

5. They don’t dwell on their errors.

To clarify, this refers to great companies can manufacture a bad product, or good movie directors can make bad movies, etc.

Surrounded By Idiots Writen By Thomas Erikson (animated) Book Summary

It is not uncommon to come up with an idea for something that appears like a true masterwork for us, but once it’s realized, the general public may not be that impressed. It can feel humiliating and really unpleasant, however it happens, whether we like it or not.

What they do instead:

When you are making something intended to be appealing to the masses but in the end fails, start over again from scratch.

If you want to impress, listen to your audience. Don’t try to patch up the product or make sequels in an attempt to prove your vision was brilliant. This kind of behavior will only cost you your credibility. Even when you manage to come up with something good, people might not even bother to give it a try.

It won’t make you neither weak nor foolish if you know when to give up. It will only give you more time to work on your comeback.

Smart People Have These Weird 6 Habits, According to Research

6. They don’t permit their past to hold them back.

The past cannot be erased, and it does not come back to haunt us, it simply never leaves. We need to learn how to cope with it and not allow it to interfere with our future achievements.

If there is nothing useful to be recovered from the past experience, simply close those doors and let it go:


Past experiences shape who we are today, and our previous struggles can build a strong character, but people tend to use their past to justify their mistakes or behaviour. Perhaps we use these excuses to gain understanding from others, or to make it easier to forgive ourselves.

7 Habits That Make You Irresistible

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What they do instead:

If you acknowledge your flaws but refuse to do something about them just because you have an excuse, then you have chosen an easy way out and that’s not what smart people do.

It may be a little tough to let go of the past, here’s a guide to help you: 10 Simple Steps To Let Go Of The Past

How do smart people make smart decisions? | Gerd Gigerenzer | TEDxNorrköping

7. They don’t rely on good luck to solve their problems.

“Hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.” A good quote to be guided by when you invest your time and efforts into something. Hope for the best possible scenario is what motivates us, whereas preparing for the worst prevents us from falling apart. On the other hand, simply hoping for the things to work themselves out is no different from being lazy.

Luck should only take credit for a fragment of your success, considering that relying on it too frequently will only suffocate your ambition.

What they do instead:

Smart people would never permit luck to take glory for all their hard work. When you pour your heart and soul into achieving your goal, it would be disappointing to give good fortune the title of “major contributor”.

How to Be Smarter Than People Smarter Than You

Create your own opportunities and learn how to make yourself luckier.

8. They don’t neglect important aspects of their business.

One of the key factors that contributes to success is attention to details or just paying good attention in general.

When one is trying to be a smart business owner, he or she is generally governed by the idea that with a quality product, success is guaranteed.

Can You Make Yourself Smarter?

The logic is not entirely flawless since even if you can offer a top quality product at a better price than your competition, you are still a far cry from a lucrative business.

What they do instead:

The absolute necessity for a successful selling period is credibility, meaning you will need to have a good advertising tactic. This implies striving towards omnipresence and professional appearance, which brings us to the most efficient tool for spreading this kind of brand awareness — and that is your website.

The impact of the website should never be underestimated; people will judge you as a professional based on your website design, its responsiveness, authority and its content. There are numerous people who offer an amazing type of service or products in person, but simply look like amateurs online.

Start off by finding a good web hosting service, to ensure your sites responsiveness proceed with quality design, and finally, eloquently describe your product or service.

Clearly, this is a single example of an important aspect, there are others as well. like providing a good customer service and creating efficient incentive plans etc. But the point is never to push in one direction. Always work on numerous fronts.

Why Smart People Underperform

9. They don’t hesitate to learn from their mistakes.

Mistakes are inevitable. Sooner or later something goes wrong, and an unaccounted for variable emerges and places a grave dent in our previously well-laid schemes. You can’t always have everything under your control, and we do not have the degree of awareness necessary to view every possible angle.

Mistakes are there to remind us of our flaws and force us to mitigate the impact they have on our lives. Mistakes can teach us a lot about our lives and ourselves, but only if we let them.

What they do instead:

Learn from your mistakes means finding what is worth salvaging from your unfortunate experience, realizing what went wrong and finding a way to avert it in the future.

Smart people use this input to work on themselves and change the things they have the power to change.

Arrogant people look for excuses and choose to blindly believe in their judgement without any retrospect. Not only does this kind of behaviour hinder your future success, it also drives people and allies away from you.

Can Smart People Be Happy?

10. They don’t give up on their ideas just because others don’t agree with them.

I know that it was stated how knowing when to give up and start anew is a good thing, and how being too stubborn or pushy will ultimately yield bad results. But a wise person knows when he or she should push the envelope and stand firm when the situation takes a turn for the worst.

Steve Jobs said it best:

There is a difference between when someone gives your idea a chance and did not like it in the end, and someone not giving your idea a chance at all. We are all entitled to constructive feedback on why our ideas or products are not satisfactory.

What they do instead:

If someone wants to discard your effort based on a hunch, do not let them. Fight for your chance to shine, or try finding someone else who will hear you out and appreciate your idea.

15 Problems Only Smart People Have

There is always a possibility that someone is intimidated by your expertise; thus that person wants to hinder your development. If you want to publish or launch something, look for more than one opinion. Even if the first one is flattering, look for more.

Constructive criticism can be used as a precious insight for the future. When you learn to embrace constructive criticism, you will grow: When I Learn To Embrace Criticism, These 10 Amazing Things Happened

11. They don’t make strong remarks that can make them look weak in the future.

Actions speak louder than words. Don’t feel overconfident and use words of grandeur to describe your future actions. It only makes you look like an attention seeker who will inevitably lose his or her credibility.

Why smart people make stupid mistakes | BBC Ideas

Credibility is of the utmost importance for one’s future and well being. The loss of credibility had a strong impact on the outcome of the situation.

What they do instead:

If you want to be taken seriously and to be respected, don’t talk big without a means to back it up. Simply let your hard work tell your tale: How To Be More Action-Oriented: Obstacles And Tips

12. They don’t lose the opportunity to broaden their experience.

This is closely connected to the previously mentioned convictions, like Friedrich Nietzsche said,

“There are no eternal facts as there are no absolute truths.”

You can never become a complete being, and you should never set such goals for yourself. However, making ongoing endeavors towards progression in various areas is indeed what a smart person would do.

The 10 Things Only Smart People Do

Science constantly expands our understanding of the world; it constantly tests theories and comes up with new ones. Even old or proven findings are never left alone, they are re-examined, redefined, and updated. They are constantly after progress, investigating what is most likely the truth, not what they want to believe the truth is.

What they do instead:

It is a good way to expand your database. After all, scientist are usually those who have the qualities, or are perceived to have qualities of smart people. The majority of smart celebrities were and are scientists.

Learn more about the importance of ever-learning in this article: If I Am Living a Good Life, Why Should I Bother Learning New Stuff?

9 Signs You're Much Smarter Than You Think

13. They don’t back off from a good cause.

Much like with the good idea, wise people do not back off from a cause worth fighting for. Revolutions were led and achieved thanks to these individuals. Luckily, our society is still flawed and can provide us with many causes worth fighting for.

We are often criticized by our parents, superiors or teachers about our tastes, our interests and our hobbies. They can be right from time to time but throughout the course history, a fix has emerged. Older generations tend to scold things they do not fully understand and are too self-absorbed to even give them a chance.

What they do instead:

Be open-minded and curious all the time. Understand that there are something to learn from a new idea.

What Makes Someone Intelligent?

Imagine just how many art forms, in terms of music, books and film genres would not be here today if people didn’t regard them as good ideas. Today, video games are struggling with the same issue. They are held responsible for violent and troublesome behavior in youth, and people do not consider them a medium capable of delivering deeper moral values.

14. They don’t waste the potentials of their gadgets.

Lacking knowledge related to a certain field or lacking the necessary skill to accomplish a particular task does not automatically make someone incompetent. Smart people have a good way of overcoming these obstacles; they can find solutions to compensate for their shortcomings.

What they do instead:

Using your gadgets to their full extent can prove to be rather beneficial in a variety of scenarios.

What Is Intelligence? Where Does it Begin?

Obviously, smartphones and tablets have internet connection and access to Google, thus all you need to do is know how to utilize these browsers efficiently. Almost anything you want to know has a recorded or a written tutorial online, meaning as long as you are connected to the World Wide Web, you will have the means to solve tricky problems.

App stores have an applications galore and a great number of them are really remarkable. Sure, there are those which are utter nonsense, but every smartphone and tablet device should have a few useful apps installed.

For example, you should have apps that boost your productivity, making your job significantly easier. Apps that can help you navigate when you are on unfamiliar terrain, thus boosting your level of security. Apps that can help you find good restaurants while in a foreign country, like Yelp. Additionally, language boundaries are significantly mitigated by the use of translating apps, and even though they are not one hundred percent accurate, they can still aid you a great deal.

The Pros and Cons of Dating Smart People | Drew Barth | Dry Bar Comedy

15. They don’t overestimate their abilities

Shelly’s Frankenstein and Goethe’s Faust tell a wonderful cautionary tale about how even the brightest among us can suffer a tragic downfall, simply because they overreached past their limitations. Ambition and hard work are healthy and nothing to be ashamed of, but without moderation, these qualities can be dangerous.

You are likely to exhaust yourself continually, which can be indeed stressful and it can have a negative impact on your health. The insatiable desire for advancement in a particular field can cloud your perspective, and make you lose grip on other important aspects of life. Ultimately, you can end up being alienated from your peers, and it can be sad to have no one you can share your success with.

What they do instead:

Your mind has its limits, and very often actively thinking about the problem doesn’t get us anywhere. You need to know when you are stuck and to take a break. In other words, we need to allow our subconscious to grab the reins, and see what happens.

You’d be surprised just how frequently certain answers simply dawn on you. Moreover, even when the answers appear obvious, it is better to examine them again in the morning, perhaps they won’t seem as ideal as they did the day before.


16. They don’t make redundant enemies.

Regardless of your status, whether you are a rising star entrepreneur or an employee in a small firm, you are likely to encounter enemies, nemeses, competition, whatever you want to label particular individuals.

These people are not malefic in nature. Your convictions, ideologies or points of view are only incompatible. The problem is that you can never know what they may do if they feel provoked, and they are probably perceiving you in the same manner, which results in unnerving animosity.

It is important to define a difference between enemies created by circumstances, and enemies created by our actions. We have already established how our competition can induce minor paranoia, so it is better not to incite any redundant conflicts.


What they do instead:

When you socialize with stubborn and hot headed individuals, rest assured that you are not the only one who notices their traits. Trying to prove a point and creating an argument with these people will get you nowhere. A smart thing to do is just nod, or say you do not agree, and end the discussion. Here’s an advanced guide on how to deal with stubborn people: 12 Ways To Deal With Stubborn People And Convince Them To Listen

When entering partnerships, do a thorough check on your potential allies, see if they are not prone to deceive you, but also make sure you don’t accidentally do something that can be viewed as treacherous.

Furthermore, if you are going through a divorce, see to it that you do not separate on completely bad terms since creating a relationship based on acts of spite won’t do anyone any good.

17. They don’t allow their pride to get in the way.

This is a quote from one of my favorite manga artists, Tite Kubo:

The person you really need to marry | Tracy McMillan | TEDxOlympicBlvdWomen

“If it rusts, it can never be trusted. If its owner fails to control it, it will cut him. Yes, pride is like a blade.”

Spiritual teachings usually label pride as a bad characteristic, but reality tends to tell a different story. Having pride is completely acceptable, but being consumed by it is quite inconvenient.

What they do instead:

It is not rare that once you become so brilliant, you tend to automatically castigate the opinion of everyone around you. Not only that, but you may often find yourself rejecting a good proposal or initiative simply because you are not the one who thought of it.

Smart people rely on their reasoning and if too much pride interferes with it, it is a feature not worth nurturing.

Allow things to unfold and you will find your purpose in life | Peggy Oki | TEDxQueenstown

18. They don’t put all the eggs in one basket.

This is an important investment rule, but this is also something we can apply in our daily lives. Never fully invest yourself for the sake of realizing a single idea.

What they do instead:

Always have backup plans, alternatives and contingencies etc. It was already established that people may not be impressed with your design, or that something can go wrong if we don’t account for all the variables.

This doesn’t imply that you should be discouraged and back off when things don’t go as planned, but this matter will be addressed later on.

19. They don’t lie to themselves that everything will be easy.

Bright and intelligent people know how to pick themselves up and make a comeback. They work on their confidence and don’t expect things to get easier.

How To Attract High Level, Successful People In Your Life

Smart people love challenges and the thrill that comes from overcoming an obstacle. Having some downtime is refreshing, but confronting and tackling new problems is what they live for.

What they do instead:

Don’t live in the illusion that life will be easy. Your efforts may be thwarted on more than one occasion.

Even when things appear to be easy, don’t drop your guard – it’s always quiet before the storm.

20. They don’t take unnecessary risks

We all found ourselves, at some point in life, when we could have taken a risk in exchange for a greater gain. In the event you are an adrenalin junkie, a motto like “high risk, high reward” is not a bad thing to live by.

How to become friends with SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE?

Being smart and calculated very often contradicts with this approach, since it is not implied that you won’t face risks, but it limits you to only those that are necessary.

What they do instead:

Even small risks with significant gain, like lottery, are a poor choice; if you have some extra cash, save it and wait for it to accumulate. Do not depend on people who are more or less strangers or wildcards, and stay away from the fluctuating stock markets.

Work hard to achieve success – don’t be tantalized by the possibility to change your life overnight.

Look around the room you’re in right now. Do you suspect you’re the smartest person in it? If so, go find a different room. It will change your life.

It’s a fairly common piece of career advice, and a very valuable one: surround yourself with people who are smarter than you.

The TRUTH Why Smart People Have Fewer Friends

Yahoo! CEO Marissa Mayer has an anecdote that sums up why: In 2011 Mayer, then Google’s VP of consumer products, told the Los Angeles Times what she calls her “Laura Beckman anecdote.”

She said, “She was the daughter of my piano teacher and a great volleyball player. She was given the choice of joining the varsity team, where she would sit on the bench for the year, or junior varsity, where she would start every game.

“Laura shocked everyone and chose varsity. The next year she came back as a senior, made varsity again and was a starter. The rest of the players who had been on junior varsity were benched for their entire senior year. I asked Laura: ‘How did you know to pick varsity?’ Laura told me: ‘I just knew if I got to practice and play alongside the best players every day, it would make me better. And that’s exactly what happened.’ The same thing happens in the professional workplace.”

10 Reasons Why Smart People Have Fewer Friends

People who are smarter than you make you up your game. Smart people make you smarter. They make you better. They spark interest and introduce you to new concepts, ideas, culture, people, and restaurants. They know where the good stuff is, like networking events, and career opportunities. And smart people, if they are truly smart, know the value of kindness and generosity and are likely to throw some of it your way, which you should do in return, because you are also smart and know that this sort of behaviour makes the world a better place.

How can you tell if someone is smarter than you? It’s hard, since we all think we’re pretty smart, but here are some signs that someone is the sort of smart person you should surround yourself with: they listen, they seek out knowledge, they’re engaged, they’re interested in the world around them, and they’re successful both socially and professionally.

That’s the sort of person you want to be around. Here’s how to make it happen.

What are the 10 things that only smart people pay attention on!_getting to know it!_#smart people

Connect with people you admire on social media: Duh, right? Connect with them on LinkedIn, friend them on Facebook, follow them on Twitter. Then don’t just leave it at that – engage with them. Comment on and like their posts, answer their questions. Don’t be a stalker. Be cool about it. Many friendships develop this way. You can do it too.

Invite social media friends out for drinks or dinner. This is the next step. Crazy, I know! But it doesn’t have to be daunting. Maybe you have actually met these people once or twice in person, or maybe you only know them online. Either way, if you have two or three people who you think are interesting and clever, try organizing a small group. Don’t make it a big event. People are likely to just ignore those. But lots of people like to be approached by potential new friends. Send a message like, “You seem smart and interesting and I’m trying to meet new smart people. Let’s get together for drinks for an hour.”

Reach out to people whose work impacts you. If you read an article you like, send a message saying that you enjoyed it and why, or that you were intrigued by a particular point or insight. I have a writer friend who writes constant letters to journalists and book and blog authors. Often they write back, and he winds up being their friend or acquaintance and getting all kind of cool freelance work.

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Volunteer. As I said, smart people know the value of being generous and you’re likely to meet a lot of them donating their time and resources to good causes. Another bonus is that you increase your hireability factor, some say by as much as 27%, by volunteering.

Go where smart people hang out. My husband met his business/creative partner at the launch of the Fellini exhibit at the TIFF lightbox in 2011. My husband was standing around talking to himself (I was far away, eating the free food) and his now friend decided to jump into the conversation (true story). We meet smart people at art shows, museums, and cultural events. Smaller art galleries almost always have free openings that anyone can attend. Go to conferences and if you see a speaker you like, talk to them.

Ask your smart friends for help. Ask them to take you places and to introduce you to their smart friends. Make sure they think of you when an event that might be suitable pops up.

10 Things Smart People Don't Do

Step out of your comfort zone. This is a big one for a lot of people. If you meet someone and they express a different opinion than you – say, a political one – try listening to what they have to say and not falling back on the assumption that yours is the only right opinion. A lot of people are very uncomfortable doing this. Don’t be. It’s a great way to meet people who are smarter than you.

Engage with everyone. Many of us have a tendency to dismiss people based on assumptions. I can’t count how many times I’ve been completely wrong about someone. Be open and engaged with everyone around you. And listen more than you talk. At the end of the day, everyone is smarter than you about something.

Got a tip for connecting with smart people? Share it with us.

5 Types Of People You Can't Help

Let’s break this down. You want to surround yourself with people who are smarter than you. So there’s three categories here

  • Have. You want to have a smarter network.

So what you’re trying to figure out is what you need to do to have this network.

  • Do. What you need to do in order to have this so called network. This is what you’re trying to figure out what to do.

Most people look at situations in these two steps. They believe that if I do what it takes, I’ll have what I want. That’s the fundamental philosophy of nearly every person out there.

However, if this is how your philosophy is set up, then you’re missing the most fundamental step of them all.

  • Be. Before you do what it takes to surround yourself with people smarter than yourself, you must first become smart.

So, what do we need to do to surround ourselves with a network of people smarter than ourselves?

10 Hidden habits of smart people do every day | This is what an intelligent person does - Brainzack

It’s broken down into these three fundamental steps.




So, let’s start at the beginning.

You’re probably wondering, what do you mean by be?

How in the world do I surround myself with people smarter than myself if I’m not that smart as it is?

The answer is simple.

First, you must become the smart person.

10 Habits of Smart People Do Every Day

How do you do this?

Focus on doing what smart people do.

  • Read.
  • Learn how to build rapport.
  • Better your communication skills.
  • Dress better.
  • Study table manners.
  • Become eloquent.
  • Figure out what you’re passionate about.
  • Learn how to dictate your voice and pause at the proper moments.
  • Become well versed in a plethora of subjects.
  • Learn how to become a friend.
  • Start to see people eye to eye as equals, not as either superiors or beneath you.

You may be asking yourself, why in the world do I need all these traits?

Let me help break that down for you with this image:

There are three points on this triangle.

  • Affinity. How much we like each other.
  • Reality. Our perspectives on certain topics.
  • Communication. How much we talk.

This triangle basically defines the underlying principles of communication between people.

When we communicate with others, our realities, or our perspectives on life need to be in sync. If they’re in sync, then our affinity for each other increases. If our affinity for each other increases, then our communication level increases. However, if our realities, or perspectives on something do not match, then our affinity for each other lowers, which causes us to communicate less.

This is why most people state that you shouldn’t talk about politics or religion. Why? Because the chance that your political or religious views match with the person you talk to are slim. In case they don’t match up, then all affinity and communication goes out the window. In some instances, you may get lucky, but it’s not that often. I’d just suggest to stay away from the topics completely.

When communicating, it is better to go with facts as opposed to how we perceive things. Some people may see a twenty foot tree as big, while others may see it as small. Since it is so hard to understand how a person may see this specific tree, it is better to go with fact and state that the tree is twenty feet tall.

Basically, what this means is that you need to be extremely well versed. When my mentor took me under his wing, he told me to eat everything I disliked until I acquired a taste for it, to travel, to have fun, basically to live life as an experience.

10 Simple Daily Habits to Change Your Life 💫

He told me that I needed to live life as an experience so I could have more points on where I could relate to others. He told me that even if I hated sushi, I needed to acquire a taste for it, just in case I met other people who did enjoy sushi. If they had decided to go on an outing and I refused to eat it, I could potentially miss out on a great opportunity.

But back to the triangle. When our realities, or our perspectives are in sync, our liking for each other increases. What that means is that if you become well versed in many topics, then the chances of seeing eye to eye on certain topics increase. You’ll be able to start a conversation based off another person’s passion, because you have a general understanding of it. Since your curiosity sparks them to talk about what they’re passionate about, your affinity, or liking of each other increases. Then your communication follows. However, if you’re talking about shoes and the other party has no interest in fashion at all, then you’ve completely lost them. Their affinity for you lowers exponentially, which dramatically decreases your communication level, and can even bring it to a halt.

Now that you have that down, the next step is do.

This is where you do what it takes to find these smart people to add into your network. However, you can’t just create smart people out of thin air. This step takes a lot of research and development.

How to Stop Caring What People Think of You

You need to study your area to find out where smart people hang out, what places they frequent, what they like.

Is it the local Barnes & Noble?

Is it Mauro’s Cafe, the celebrity hot spot in Fred Segal off Melrose & Crescent Heights?

Is it that cafe that no one knows about, yet always has the most prominent people sit for tea? Is it Boa Steakhouse? Is it that nightclub down the street Greystone Manor?

Then, after you start to understand where these people frequent, you have to locate what place is the least intrusive to introduce yourself at.

Usually, this happens to be book stores and cafes.

8 Things Only Smart People Pay Attention To

If you overhear a person talking about quantum mechanics, you probably found the person you’re looking for. Attend that cafe daily and figure out their routines and their schedule of when they arrive. See if they usually frequent with their friends or if they come alone. After you determine their schedule, if they are ever alone one day, come up to them and ask them for a pen. Or a piece of paper. Or just say hello. Start a conversation with them. Connect with them because you already decided to take the time to be well versed and discuss what their mutual interests are. Start to establish a casual conversation that will eventually lead to a friendship, or even an invitation into their inner circle.

Repeat these steps over and over, and you’ll eventually be surrounded with people smarter than yourself in all walks of life.

5 Smart Ways to deal with Negative People & Stay Positive | Crush Negativity from your life

Or you can just do what I did and write about your life on Quora and they’ll come to you instead. However, I have an unfair advantage in this setting because everyone is smarter than I am.

From the time you were little, your parents told you to be smart. Most people want to consider themselves smart; certainly no one likes to feel stupid. But sadly, it's difficult to determine if you were acting smart in a given situation until the time has passed, and of course, then it's too late. This delayed realization is where the physical act of slapping oneself in the forehead originally developed.

Being smart is not just about being intelligent. Lord knows the world has witnessed plenty of intelligent people do really stupid things. Incredibly smart people are also prone to moments of idiocy, but they do tend to act smarter most of the time. Here is how they do it and you can as well.

1. Focus less on yourself and more on the people around you.

Many people go through life thinking mostly about themselves. Sure, there are truly altruistic people, but most are relatively self-centered. Incredibly smart people understand that it's the people around you that generate support and opportunities, provided you show them your capacity to make it about them. In any given situation, listen first and consider how you can improve the lives of those in your purview. You'll be pleasantly surprised at the positive force you create for your own objectives.

2. Consider yourself the least informed in the room.

How Emotionally Intelligent People Deal With Negative People

When you walk into the room thinking you are the smartest, your mind is closed to infinite possibilities. Incredibly smart people love to position themselves as ignorant. That way they are open to the learning adventure ahead. If you start by thinking that you don't have the right answers, in the best case you'll gain the truth and in the worst case you'll verify your accuracy.


3. Always be questioning.

Many people think they can show their smartness by providing answers all the time. Incredibly smart people know that people can truly assess your intelligence by the questions you ask. The trick is to make sure the questions you ask are truly inquisitive, looking for new answers--not just a ploy to make a statement or get your point across.

4. Look for something new every day.

It's easy to stagnate and get into a rut thinking you have seen it all before. Incredibly smart people know that the world is way too large and too complex to master in a single lifetime. Just the act of looking for one new thing to learn each day will increase your sensitivity to all that you never before considered.

5. Concentrate on the knowledge you lack instead of the knowledge you have.

5 Ways Emotionally Intelligent People Manage Conflict

It's fascinating how seemingly learned people can appear so dense at times. They like to make people think they are smart by readily quoting facts and figures or pontificating over a given subject. But often they lack the nuance that means the difference between competence and brilliance. Incredibly smart people see any obtained knowledge merely as a bridge to learning even more. They know the learning process is a never-ending journey to be enjoyed over a lifetime. Congratulate yourself briefly on each step in the journey, then bear down and learn more.

6. Explore the origin of everything.

Everything, no matter how simple, has a most wondrous story. Incredibly smart people find fascination in the most mundane of items and industries. Explore the world with open eyes and you'll gain incredibly useful knowledge from the most surprising places.

7. Hang out with the smartest people you can comprehend.

For many, it's wonderfully ego-satisfying to be the smartest person in the room. Incredibly smart people prefer to be in the company of those who can share powerful insights. Find people who challenge you and stretch your thinking. The joy of learning far outweighs the praise of being right.

There’s an old saying that your IQ is the average of your 5 closest friends. It's true! If you want to get smarter and engage in stimulating conversations, you need to have intelligent friends. You might be wondering just how you can surround yourself with smart, successful people and expand your social circle. Not to worry. We’ve put together a helpful list of ways you can get out there and meet more intelligent friends.

Set an intention to make new friends.

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    A simple change in your mindset can make a big difference. The truth is, you can’t make new friends unless you put in the work to make it happen. Start by focusing your mind and making it a goal to try harder to meet new people as often as you can. The more new people you can meet, the more intelligent friends you can make.[1]
    • For instance, you could tell yourself something like, “I will talk to new people as often as I can” or “I’ll plan to do a group activity at least once a week to meet new people.”
    • It’s completely normal to feel a little nervous about putting yourself out there. If you commit to you intention, it can make it much easier.

Put down your phone when you’re out in public.

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    There are a ton of connections you could be missing around you. This is a simple strategy, but you might be surprised at how effective it can be. Instead of whipping out your phone to text or scroll while you’re waiting in places like a library, restaurant, or even a grocery store, resist the urge and try striking up a conversation with someone around you if you feel comfortable. You never know what conversations can lead to more intelligent people in your life.[2]
    • For instance, while you’re standing in the checkout line at your local grocery store, try chatting with people around you. You could say something like, “Hey, how’s it going? Looks like you’re cooking a nice dinner!”
    • Keep in mind that not every conversation will turn into a friendship. That’s okay!

Go to art shows, museums, and cultural events.

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    Smart people tend to hang out at these places. Look for art exhibits in your area and make it a goal to attend them. Check out museums that look interesting that you can visit. You can also check out cultural events such as plays, book signings, or even an opera. Talk to some of the other people you meet there and you may make some new intelligent friends![3]
    • For instance, you could try a simple icebreaker like, “This is a really great exhibit, have you been here before?”
    • You’ll also have a lot of fun checking out some artistic events.

Reach out to intelligent people who have impacted you.

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    With email and social media, you can easily connect with them. If there are any writers, journalists, or even bloggers that you really admire, let them know! Comment on their social media posts or send them a message telling them how much their work has affected you. If they respond and there’s a connection, you could make a new friend that you admire![4]
    • For instance, you could follow a writer you love on a site like Twitter and comment on their posts or send them a direct message telling them how much you admire their work.

Hang out with other intelligent friends you have.

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    They can introduce you to their smart friends. Take advantage of the friends you already have! Think about some of the more intelligent people in your life and make it a priority to spend more time with them. Chances are, they’ll have smart friends you can meet through them to grow your circle of intelligent friends.[5]
    • Try joining your intelligent friends on a night out or for a dinner party. You might be able to meet a bunch of their other smart friends.

Take a continuing education class.

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    You’ll meet like-minded people who enjoy learning new things. Look for classes in your area that seem interesting to you or like intelligent people would take them. Try learning something new by taking something like a language class, cooking class, or poetry class. Chances are you’ll meet other smart folks who are trying to better themselves as well. You can meet them in class and you’ll have chances to talk to and get to know them.[6]
    • Plus, you’ll get to learn something new while you’re at it!

Join a running or cycling group.

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    You’ll meet active people and may make some smart friends. Hop online or on social media and search for groups in your area that you can join. Go out for group runs or rides and chat with the other people in the group. Intelligent people are often active and healthy, so you may be able to meet some new smart friends and improve your fitness at the same time![7]
    • Even if you’re brand new to running or cycling, you can join a group of beginners to get better with other people.
    • You could also try out a group fitness class. It’s a great way to meet new people and you’ll have the guidance of an experienced coach.[8]

Grab lunch with some smart coworkers.

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    Make an effort to get to know them. Try going to lunch with a different coworker each week. Just because you work with someone doesn’t mean you can’t be friends. Besides, you might be surprised at how intelligent and thoughtful the people you work with can be. Spend time getting to know them and enjoying some tasty food. It could lead to a very rewarding friendship.[9]
    • Even if you don’t become best friends, it’s never a bad thing to be on good terms with the people you work with.

Volunteer with professional organizations.

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    It’s a great way to organically grow your professional network. Look for professional conferences that are relevant to your field and find out if you can volunteer to serve on the board. You’ll meet other motivated people in your industry and some of them could become great friends![10]
    • For instance, if you’re an accountant, look for accounting or financial conferences that you can get involved with.

Join a meetup, hobby, or industry group.

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    Go at least 3 times to see if you like it. Look for meetup groups and events in your area and sign up to attend them. Search for hobby or industry groups online or on social media and find out when they get together or have events you can go to. Commit to going a few times to get to know a few of the people there and potentially meet some new intelligent friends.[11]
    • You might find that you really enjoy trying new things and meeting new people, and that’s great!
    • If you don’t enjoy meeting up with a group, no worries. You can always try another group!

Spend time around any smart people you know.

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    Surround yourself with intelligent people as much as you can. Think about some of the smartest people you know. Even if you aren’t super close or friends yet doesn’t mean you can’t make an effort to get to know them. Try spending more time around them or reaching out to see if they’d like to grab a meal, coffee, or maybe even a drink. They could become a new friend![12]
    • For example, if you have a relative that has a really smart friend, try hanging out with them. You could try a simple invite like, “Hi, Sarah! Any chance you’d like to grab a coffee sometime?”

Go through your alumni network if you have one.

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    Ask them to connect you to alumna in your area. Many colleges and universities have alumni groups that can help connect people who attended your school or even earned the same degree as you. Try reaching out to them or posting on their message board to ask if they know anyone who lives in your area. You’ll get connected to people who have the shared experience of going to the same school.[13]
    • Since anyone you meet likely earned a college degree, chances are they’re intelligent!
    • This is also a great way to meet new people if you move to a new area where you don’t know anybody.

Consider hiring a friendship coach.

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    A professional can help you make the right friends. It may sound cheesy, but it can actually work! There are trained professionals who can coach and help you get out there and meet the right new friends. Search for friendship coaches in your area and contact them to get started.[14]

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