Are Crop Tops and Cutout Dresses Too Revealing for High School?
When it comes to raising a little girl that is approaching puberty, life can become very difficult and conversations surrounding your daughter's personal expression can easily become very challenging. A natural part of becoming a teen and venturing into adulthood is the desire for freedom, which includes total freedom of expression that isn't always aligned with what parents had envisioned.
Fashion and beauty are among the categories that many moms and teens end up disagreeing on. Teenage girls are often eager to enter the world of lipstick, short skirts, high heels and crop tops, much to the dismay of their parents.
We all have different perspectives about what types of clothing are appropriate for certain ages, so the answer is very much dependent upon your personal situation.
Are We Sending The Right Message?
When your daughter asks to wear a crop top at the age of 12, your knee-jerk reaction may be to say 'no'. However, as we're sure you're aware, this will lead to more conflict and a may even possibly lead to hurt feelings. Before shouting out an immediate 'no' answer, encourage your teen to sit down and talk to you about this a bit more. As parents, our tendency is to want to protect our little girls from the evils that exist in the world, however, their minds are not quite as jaded, and there is likely a whole lot of innocence behind their request that doesn't necessarily need to be reprimanded.
Sources suggest that by reacting negatively to situations like these, we may actually be sending our daughters mixed messaging that suggests "that it’s their responsibility to manage the sexual feelings of the boys and men in society. We also run the risk of shaming girls about their changing bodies." Such situations can have long-lasting consequences, so it's important to handle situations like these with special care.
Talk About Why This Is Important
There's a lot to be said for 'why' your daughter wants to adorn crop top fashion at the tender age of 12. Perhaps the situation that presents itself is one of fitting in with peers, or maybe she just has a keen eye for fashion and wants to be current and trendy. You know your daughter best, and with some honest conversation you'll be able to decipher why she is interested in this particular piece of clothing. If there's a little alarm that goes off in your heart at the realization that your daughter wants to attract attention through her clothing choices, this may be a good time for an honest chat.
Fitting in with friends by wearing popular, mainstream clothing is a normal part of transitioning through the teenage years. "In giving some deeper thought to your objections—and discussing them with your daughter—you can invite a deeper discussion about sexuality, body image and consent."
There's A Compromise That Can Be Made
The idea of your daughter's midriff being exposed to the world may not be something that you'll be comfortable with at any age. That doesn't mean she won't be changing into one at her first opportunity, though! Perhaps there's a compromise that can be made. Keeping open lines of communication are critical, and there may be a compromise that you can both make.
It may not be acceptable for you to permit your 12 year old to wear a crop top to school, however, maybe she can wear one around the house, or when she visits a friend's house. There may be some situational rules that you apply to the wearing of this revealing article of clothing, rather than shutting the conversation down with a firm 'no.'
This, Too, Shall Pass
If you can't come to a compromise and you're still highly uncomfortable with allowing your 12 year old to wear a crop top, that's perfectly acceptable. There's no right or wrong answer when it comes to this topic, as each young pre-teen that wants to wear a crop top has a different level of maturity, and different reasons for wanting to pursue this fashion option.
The idea is to formulate a healthy attitude, and open conversations surrounding these tough topics to ensure there's a platform for future discussions... crop tops are just the beginning of the challenging fashion options that your daughter may want to pursue!
