How can I manage anger problems?

 Anger Management Techniques

What are 3 ways to manage your anger?

We all know what anger is, and we've all felt it: whether as a fleeting annoyance or as full-fledged rage.

Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. And it can make you feel as though you're at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion. This brochure is meant to help you understand and control anger.

Anger is "an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage," according to Charles Spielberger, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in the study of anger. Like other emotions, it is accompanied by physiological and biological changes; when you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your energy hormones, adrenaline, and noradrenaline.

Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. You could be angry at a specific person (such as a coworker or supervisor) or event (a traffic jam, a canceled flight), or your anger could be caused by worrying or brooding about your personal problems. Memories of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger angry feelings.

Expressing Anger

The instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, therefore, is necessary to our survival.

How Do I Know If I Have Anger Management Problems?

On the other hand, we can't physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us; laws, social norms, and common sense place limits on how far our anger can take us.

People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing, and calming. Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive—not aggressive—manner is the healthiest way to express anger. To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are, and how to get them met, without hurting others. Being assertive doesn't mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others.

Anger can be suppressed, and then converted or redirected. This happens when you hold in your anger, stop thinking about it, and focus on something positive. The aim is to inhibit or suppress your anger and convert it into more constructive behavior. The danger in this type of response is that if it isn't allowed outward expression, your anger can turn inward—on yourself. Anger turned inward may cause hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression.

Unexpressed anger can create other problems. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behavior (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile. People who are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments haven't learned how to constructively express their anger. Not surprisingly, they aren't likely to have many successful relationships.

Finally, you can calm down inside. This means not just controlling your outward behavior, but also controlling your internal responses, taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down, and let the feelings subside.

Anger Management for Relationships

As Dr. Spielberger notes, "when none of these three techniques work, that's when someone—or something—is going to get hurt."

The goal of anger management is to reduce both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes. You can't get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions.

Are You Too Angry?

There are psychological tests that measure the intensity of angry feelings, how prone to anger you are, and how well you handle it. But chances are good that if you do have a problem with anger, you already know it. If you find yourself acting in ways that seem out of control and frightening, you might need help finding better ways to deal with this emotion.

Why Are Some People More Angry Than Others?

According to Jerry Deffenbacher, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in anger management, some people really are more "hotheaded" than others are; they get angry more easily and more intensely than the average person does. There are also those who don't show their anger in loud spectacular ways but are chronically irritable and grumpy. Easily angered people don't always curse and throw things; sometimes they withdraw socially, sulk, or get physically ill.

People who are easily angered generally have what some psychologists call a low tolerance for frustration, meaning simply that they feel that they should not have to be subjected to frustration, inconvenience, or annoyance. They can't take things in stride, and they're particularly infuriated if the situation seems somehow unjust: for example, being corrected for a minor mistake.

5 Keys to Controlling Anger

What makes these people this way? A number of things. One cause may be genetic or physiological: There is evidence that some children are born irritable, touchy, and easily angered, and that these signs are present from a very early age. Another may be sociocultural. Anger is often regarded as negative; we're taught that it's all right to express anxiety, depression, or other emotions but not to express anger. As a result, we don't learn how to handle it or channel it constructively.

Research has also found that family background plays a role. Typically, people who are easily angered come from families that are disruptive, chaotic, and not skilled at emotional communications.

Is It Good To "Let it All Hang Out?"

Psychologists now say that this is a dangerous myth. Some people use this theory as a license to hurt others. Research has found that "letting it rip" with anger actually escalates anger and aggression and does nothing to help you (or the person you're angry with) resolve the situation.

It's best to find out what it is that triggers your anger, and then to develop strategies to keep those triggers from tipping you over the edge.

Simple relaxation tools, such as deep breathing and relaxing imagery, can help calm down angry feelings. There are books and courses that can teach you relaxation techniques, and once you learn the techniques, you can call upon them in any situation. If you are involved in a relationship where both partners are hot-tempered, it might be a good idea for both of you to learn these techniques.

Some simple steps you can try:

Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won't relax you. Picture your breath coming up from your "gut."Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as "relax," "take it easy." Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply.Use imagery; visualize a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your imagination.Nonstrenuous, slow yoga-like exercises can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer.

Practice these techniques daily. Learn to use them automatically when you're in a tense situation.

How to Control your Anger (8 Anger Management Tips)

Cognitive Restructuring

Simply put, this means changing the way you think. Angry people tend to curse, swear, or speak in highly colorful terms that reflect their inner thoughts. When you're angry, your thinking can get very exaggerated and overly dramatic. Try replacing these thoughts with more rational ones. For instance, instead of telling yourself, "oh, it's awful, it's terrible, everything's ruined," tell yourself, "it's frustrating, and it's understandable that I'm upset about it, but it's not the end of the world and getting angry is not going to fix it anyhow."

Be careful of words like "never" or "always" when talking about yourself or someone else. "This !&*%@ machine never works," or "you're always forgetting things" are not just inaccurate, they also serve to make you feel that your anger is justified and that there's no way to solve the problem. They also alienate and humiliate people who might otherwise be willing to work with you on a solution.

Remind yourself that getting angry is not going to fix anything, that it won't make you feel better (and may actually make you feel worse).

Logic defeats anger, because anger, even when it's justified, can quickly become irrational. So use cold hard logic on yourself. Remind yourself that the world is "not out to get you," you're just experiencing some of the rough spots of daily life. Do this each time you feel anger getting the best of you, and it'll help you get a more balanced perspective. Angry people tend to demand things: fairness, appreciation, agreement, willingness to do things their way. Everyone wants these things, and we are all hurt and disappointed when we don't get them, but angry people demand them, and when their demands aren't met, their disappointment becomes anger. As part of their cognitive restructuring, angry people need to become aware of their demanding nature and translate their expectations into desires. In other words, saying, "I would like" something is healthier than saying, "I demand" or "I must have" something. When you're unable to get what you want, you will experience the normal reactions—frustration, disappointment, hurt—but not anger. Some angry people use this anger as a way to avoid feeling hurt, but that doesn't mean the hurt goes away.

Problem Solving

Sometimes, our anger and frustration are caused by very real and inescapable problems in our lives. Not all anger is misplaced, and often it's a healthy, natural response to these difficulties. There is also a cultural belief that every problem has a solution, and it adds to our frustration to find out that this isn't always the case. The best attitude to bring to such a situation, then, is not to focus on finding the solution, but rather on how you handle and face the problem.

How To Manage Getting Triggered & Angry - 5 Simple Steps

Make a plan, and check your progress along the way. Resolve to give it your best, but also not to punish yourself if an answer doesn't come right away. If you can approach it with your best intentions and efforts and make a serious attempt to face it head-on, you will be less likely to lose patience and fall into all-or-nothing thinking, even if the problem does not get solved right away.

Better Communication

Angry people tend to jump to—and act on—conclusions, and some of those conclusions can be very inaccurate. The first thing to do if you're in a heated discussion is slow down and think through your responses. Don't say the first thing that comes into your head, but slow down and think carefully about what you want to say. At the same time, listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering.

Listen, too, to what is underlying the anger. For instance, you like a certain amount of freedom and personal space, and your "significant other" wants more connection and closeness. If he or she starts complaining about your activities, don't retaliate by painting your partner as a jailer, a warden, or an albatross around your neck.

It's natural to get defensive when you're criticized, but don't fight back. Instead, listen to what's underlying the words: the message that this person might feel neglected and unloved. It may take a lot of patient questioning on your part, and it may require some breathing space, but don't let your anger—or a partner's—let a discussion spin out of control. Keeping your cool can keep the situation from becoming a disastrous one.

Using Humor

"Silly humor" can help defuse rage in a number of ways. For one thing, it can help you get a more balanced perspective. When you get angry and call someone a name or refer to them in some imaginative phrase, stop and picture what that word would literally look like. If you're at work and you think of a coworker as a "dirtbag" or a "single-cell life form," for example, picture a large bag full of dirt (or an amoeba) sitting at your colleague's desk, talking on the phone, going to meetings. Do this whenever a name comes into your head about another person. If you can, draw a picture of what the actual thing might look like. This will take a lot of the edge off your fury; and humor can always be relied on to help unknot a tense situation.

Anger Is Your Ally: A Mindful Approach to Anger | Juna Mustad | TEDxWabashCollege

The underlying message of highly angry people, Dr. Deffenbacher says, is "things oughta go my way!" Angry people tend to feel that they are morally right, that any blocking or changing of their plans is an unbearable indignity and that they should NOT have to suffer this way. Maybe other people do, but not them!

When you feel that urge, he suggests, picture yourself as a god or goddess, a supreme ruler, who owns the streets and stores and office space, striding alone and having your way in all situations while others defer to you. The more detail you can get into your imaginary scenes, the more chances you have to realize that maybe you are being unreasonable; you'll also realize how unimportant the things you're angry about really are. There are two cautions in using humor. First, don't try to just "laugh off" your problems; rather, use humor to help yourself face them more constructively. Second, don't give in to harsh, sarcastic humor; that's just another form of unhealthy anger expression.

What these techniques have in common is a refusal to take yourself too seriously. Anger is a serious emotion, but it's often accompanied by ideas that, if examined, can make you laugh.

Changing Your Environment

Sometimes it's our immediate surroundings that give us cause for irritation and fury. Problems and responsibilities can weigh on you and make you feel angry at the "trap" you seem to have fallen into and all the people and things that form that trap.

Give yourself a break. Make sure you have some "personal time" scheduled for times of the day that you know are particularly stressful. One example is the working mother who has a standing rule that when she comes home from work, for the first 15 minutes "nobody talks to Mom unless the house is on fire." After this brief quiet time, she feels better prepared to handle demands from her kids without blowing up at them.

Some Other Tips for Easing Up on Yourself

Timing: If you and your spouse tend to fight when you discuss things at night—perhaps you're tired, or distracted, or maybe it's just habit—try changing the times when you talk about important matters so these talks don't turn into arguments.

Anger Management for Kids!

Avoidance: If your child's chaotic room makes you furious every time you walk by it, shut the door. Don't make yourself look at what infuriates you. Don't say, "well, my child should clean up the room so I won't have to be angry!" That's not the point. The point is to keep yourself calm.

Finding alternatives: If your daily commute through traffic leaves you in a state of rage and frustration, give yourself a project—learn or map out a different route, one that's less congested or more scenic. Or find another alternative, such as a bus or commuter train.

If you feel that your anger is really out of control, if it is having an impact on your relationships and on important parts of your life, you might consider counseling to learn how to handle it better. A psychologist or other licensed mental health professional can work with you in developing a range of techniques for changing your thinking and your behavior.

When you talk to a prospective therapist, tell her or him that you have problems with anger that you want to work on, and ask about his or her approach to anger management. Make sure this isn't only a course of action designed to "put you in touch with your feelings and express them"—that may be precisely what your problem is. With counseling, psychologists say, a highly angry person can move closer to a middle range of anger in about 8 to 10 weeks, depending on the circumstances and the techniques used.

What About Assertiveness Training?

It's true that angry people need to learn to become assertive (rather than aggressive), but most books and courses on developing assertiveness are aimed at people who don't feel enough anger. These people are more passive and acquiescent than the average person; they tend to let others walk all over them. That isn't something that most angry people do. Still, these books can contain some useful tactics to use in frustrating situations.

Remember, you can't eliminate anger—and it wouldn't be a good idea if you could. In spite of all your efforts, things will happen that will cause you anger; and sometimes it will be justifiable anger. Life will be filled with frustration, pain, loss, and the unpredictable actions of others. You can't change that; but you can change the way you let such events affect you. Controlling your angry responses can keep them from making you even more unhappy in the long run. 

How can I control my short temper?

Do you see red when your morning train is delayed? Do you feel your temper flaring when you have a hard day at work? Anger is a normal and healthy emotion, but it can often flare and cause issues in your life.

Check out 20 ways to help deal with your temper when it flares.

How to Deal With Anger When Mom Blames - Anger Management Techniques

1. Take a timeout.

If you feel your temper slowly rising, remove yourself from the situation completely. Take a deep breath and count slowly to 10. This method often calms people down and stops them from reacting in an irrational manner, so you can solve your problems rather than continuing to fight.

2. Don’t carry your temper.

Often people become frustrated by one thing and end up carrying the anger around with them, long after the actual reason has passed. If you dislike your job, go to the gym or to the library before you go home from work. Take a little bit of time to let the anger pass so that the rest of your day isn’t clouded by it.

3. Keep a journal.

Try keeping a journal of your moods over a two week period. Look out for times you have become aggravated, and times you have remained calm. Write down what happened to trigger your temper, how you dealt with your anger, and how people reacted.

4. Practice relaxation techniques.

When you become angry, try visualizing a place where you feel happy and calm. Take deep breaths, and repeat a word or phrase in your mind as you envision the place. Continue repeating the phrase and visualizing the place until you feel like you have control over your anger.

5. Take a walk.

Exercise in itself can be a great stress reliever, as your body releases endorphins as you walk. Remove yourself from the situation that has aggravated you, take a walk and get the chance to clear your mind and gain new perspectives. When you feel ready to deal with the situation, walk back with a clear head.

6. Take a class you enjoy.

Try joining a class where you will have the opportunity to vent and express your anger through a different method. Dance, running, and Zumba classes are all great ways to let go of tension in a relaxed and happy environment.

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7. Change your mindset.

Sometimes people can make a stressful conversation even more stressful by having a negative outlook. Sometimes you have every right to be annoyed, but always try looking at the issue through another perspective. Often pessimistic thoughts can make everything seem worse than it is; try asking yourself if you are being a pessimist, an optimist or a realist.

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8. Think of a funny memory.

If you have had a long, stressful day, anything from the commute home to burning dinner can leave you feeling angry. When you feel your temper rising over something small, think of a funny memory you have with your family or friends. Remind yourself that this is temporary, and it won’t matter in a few hours.

9. Discuss how you feel.

If your temper mostly flares with the same person, try speaking to them differently to help make your point. If your partner doesn’t tidy the house, say, “I am upset I have to tidy every evening” rather than, “You never do any tidying.” Discuss your feelings, rather than putting down the other person, and it is likely they will stop aggravating you and will instead try to help.

10. Don’t hold grudges.

Don’t waste your time feeling angry about events which are over and unchangeable. It will make your life harder on a day-to-day basis, but it is likely the people you feel angry at don’t even think about the issue. Shrug off old arguments and focus on making yourself happy.

11. Listen to music during stressful times.

If you hate the commute to work, bring along an MP3 and listen to your favorite album until you arrive. If you hate working out, download an upbeat album to listen to as you exercise.

Anger Management

If you have troubles with your temper, doing tasks you hate can rile you up and leave you carrying the anger around with you all day. Listening to music while you do unpleasant tasks can help reduce and prevent any feelings of anger.

12. Identify a solution.

If you tend to get angry about the same things over and over again, work on them specifically. If you hate how messy your teenager’s room is, shut their door. If your partner never texts you back, ring them when you need to speak to them. Try to remind yourself that anger isn’t a solution.

13. Know your triggers.

If taking about the environment or politics raises your temper, politely excuse yourself from the conversation while people discuss such matters. If you dislike busy places, do all of your shopping during the quietest times. If certain things aggravate you, avoid them or cut them out completely for a calmer life.

14. Set alarms for during the day.

If your temper often flares while you are at work, set a couple of alarms on your phone throughout the day. When the alarm goes off, take a minute to yourself. During this time think about how you are feeling, and why you feel this way. If you feel any negative emotions, address them so you don’t have to spend any more time thinking about it. After a minute, regroup and continue with your work.

15. Use calming scents.

If you have a place or a room where you often feel calm and relaxed, buy a scent you love for the room, such as lavender. When you are in the room, you will associate the smell with feeling calm and content. If you carry a scented cloth with you as well, you can use it later in stressful situations to help you feel calm and relaxed.

16. Smile.

When your temper has flared, the last thing most people want to do is smile. However, smiling lowers your body’s stress response, while quelling feelings of anger.

17. Stretch in the morning.

In the morning, most people tend to wake up, hit the alarm and jump in the shower. However, if you have a short temper and you’re “not a morning person,” try stretching when you first wake up. This gives you a few minutes to yourself before you get ready, it is good for your muscles, and it can be very calming.

Anger Management Part 1 | Counselor Toolbox Podcast with Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes

18. Look at your environment.

Try changing your surroundings if you regularly feel angry in the same places. If you feel your temper rising in a certain place, like work or the gym, ask yourself these questions; Do I like the people here? Do I like what I do while I am here? If the answer is no, it could be that you need to find a new place, where you feel less agitated.

19. Find a place you can be alone.

If you find any particular place very stressful, and you find your temper rising regularly when you are there, find a place you can be completely alone for a few minutes. Even if it is a toilet or an empty corridor, one minute alone can be more than enough time to calm down.

20. Know when to seek help.

Controlling anger can be a real issue for many people. If you regularly feel like you can’t control your temper, and you believe it has become a big part of your life which you can’t control, seek professional help so you can regain control of your emotions. Good luck!

Can an anger problem be fixed?

Uncontrolled anger can affect your relationships, your job and your health. Rage can take over your life and result in depression, violence and suicidal feelings. Your kids, neighbors and coworkers can also be at risk from uncontrolled outbursts and erratic behavior. If you are suffering from anger issues, it is vital that you get the support you need to develop effective management strategies.

Several options are available, including both inpatient and outpatient treatment with mental health counselors. Executive treatment programs and luxury facilities are also available to serve a wider variety of patients. Modern treatments are targeted and effective, often offering results in as little as six to eight weeks.

What Causes Anger-Related Problems?

Anger itself is not a problem. The trouble arises when your anger becomes uncontrollable, and you lose control of your behavior. This loss of reason and rationality can result in all sorts of problems, including erratic behavior, violence, abuse, addictions and trouble with the law.

Often, people with anger issues try to suppress their feelings, believing them to be inappropriate. This can lead to wild emotional outbursts and health problems.

Anger Management Tools Part 2

Is There a Cure for Anger?

Anger is not something you can get rid of. It is a normal, healthy emotion shared by all people everywhere. When it gets out of hand, though, anger can become destructive and lead to all sorts of personal problems.

While you can’t cure anger, you can manage the intensity and effect it has upon you. Effective therapeutic strategies exist for managing anger and can help you become less reactive. You can even learn to develop more patience in the face of people and situations you cannot control.

Therapies for Anger Management Issues

Many therapeutic strategies are available to help you deal with anger issues. Some of these include:

Cognitive behavioral therapy

Improvements in communication skills

Focus on problem-solving

Avoidance of problematic situations

Humor and self-deprecation

While it’s possible to improve your anger response on your own, a qualified practitioner can help you move more quickly to successful management.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Treatment for Anger Disorders

One of the most common types of psychotherapy is cognitive behavioral therapy. The purpose of the treatment is to help an angry person recognize the self-defeating negative thoughts that lie behind anger flare-ups. Patients work with a mental health professional to learn how to manage stressful life circumstances more successfully.

The cognitive behavioral approach has many benefits. Patients learn to:

Cope better with difficult life situations

Positively resolve conflicts in relationships

Deal with grief more effectively

Mentally handle emotional stress caused by illness, abuse or physical trauma

Overcome chronic pain, fatigue and other physical symptoms

Cognitive therapies are structured and may offer quicker results than other approaches. Better yet, the results are lasting, with patients showing significantly decreased relapse rates.

10 Powerful Anger Management Techniques: Help Dealing With Anger & Rage!

This sort of treatment tends to focus on specific problems and personal triggers. You’ll learn how to deal with your particular issues using conscious, goal-centered strategies.

The specific steps in cognitive behavioral therapy include:

Identification of situations or circumstances in your life that lead to trouble

Awareness of your thoughts and emotions surrounding anger triggers

Acknowledgement of inaccurate, negative thought patterns

Relearning of healthier, positive thought patterns

Very few risks are associated with cognitive behavioral therapy, and the benefits are plentiful. You will likely explore painful feelings and emotions, but you will do it in a safe, guided manner.

Cognitive therapy is considered a short-term approach and generally lasts about 10 to 20 sessions depending upon your specific disorder, the severity of your symptoms, the amount of time you’ve been dealing with anger symptoms, your rate of progress, your current stress levels, and the amount of support you receive from friends and family.

Heart Coherence Training

Another promising technique is heart coherence training. By learning specific techniques to consciously monitor and alter their own heart rhythms, patients can reduce levels of stress hormones while increasing the mood-enhancing hormone dehydroepiandrosterone. Heart coherence training also helps stabilize the autonomic nervous system, resulting in a reduction of anger’s physical effects upon the immune system. The end result can be fewer feelings of tension, irritation, stress and anger.

Anger Suppression

/>Many people try to suppress their anger. The attempt is doomed to fail and may even lead to painful physical consequences.

Suppression of anger does not make the emotional upset go away. Instead, a person may become depressed or anxious as the feelings of unexpressed rage are turned against the self. Attempts to suppress anger may lead to impatience and hostility that simmers dangerously below the surface, just waiting for a spark to erupt into boiling rage.

It is important to understand and release anger without trying to deny its existence.

Residential Anger Management Treatment Centers

If your anger problems are seriously affecting your day-to-day life, a residential or inpatient anger management treatment center may be indicated. The access to dedicated treatment staff and controlled conditions may be necessary if you find yourself:

In trouble with the law as a result of anger issues

Experiencing constant, uncontrollable arguments with your family members or coworkers

Lashing out physically at your children or other adults

Threatening violence to other people or their property

Losing control of yourself when you get angry

Believing that everything will be fine if you just hold in your anger

Remember that the purpose of anger management treatment is to give you the tools necessary to express your emotions in healthier and safer ways. A professional can help you get your anger and reactive behavior under control.

Anger Management: Warning Signs + Anger Thermometer

The Benefits of Residential Anger Treatments

Residential anger treatments help patients learn to gain control over their anger and frustrations. Your therapist can help you to recognize dangerous situations and to become more conscious of the warning signs of impending rage. Additionally, intense residential treatments can help you learn to avoid anger suppression, which can lead to hypertension, depression, heart troubles and anxiety.

Most importantly, you can develop these strategies while removing yourself from the triggers and risks of the outside world.

Luxury Anger Management Facilities

Inpatient treatment doesn’t have to mean sterile, inhuman conditions. Many luxury facilities exist and are dedicated to inpatient anger management therapy. Comfortable and serene accommodations have a positive effect on mental health and mood, so it’s wise to consider treatment facilities carefully.

If you want to learn more about what to look for in a treatment facility, contact us at .

Executive Anger Management Programs

Executive anger management programs are available for physicians, executives, lawyers and other professionals who may benefit from one-on-one treatment in a discrete and private setting.

Effective anger management strategies not only improve individual interactions with employees, patients and customers but also help to provide a basis for sound organizational policies. A professional who is able to positively deal with stress and anxiety is in a better position to work with and instruct others.

Managers and executives can expect to learn how to:

Find positive resolutions to stressful people, interactions and situations

Repair damaged relationships and restore trust

Communicate directly

Control emotional reactiveness

Empathize with coworkers and clients

Resolve conflicts in a healthy way

Contact us today at for more information about executive anger management programs and treatments.

How To Deal With Anger - Help With Anger Management

Outpatient Anger Rehab and Treatment Programs

Sometimes, the commitment of a residential program is not possible. If your anger issues are not physically dangerous, and if you are unable to break completely free from your everyday life, an outpatient anger management program may be right for you.

Outpatient programs offer intense individual counseling, typically for six to eight weeks, and help prepare patients for more limited follow-up care moving forward. You will have to deal with external people and situations during your treatment, so supportive friends and family members can make a big difference.

Prescription and Over-the-Counter Medications

Because anger is a psychological issue, it is possible to treat symptoms with medication. While the goal of treatment programs will be to eventually make the patient self-sufficient, particular medicines can be helpful in the treatment phase.

Antidepressants such as Prozac, Celexa and Zoloft are commonly prescribed for anger issues. These drugs do not specifically target anger within the body, but they do have a calming effect that can support control of rage and negative emotion. Epilepsy medicines are sometimes indicated, particularly when a patient’s seizures result in anger reactions.

You should speak with your doctor about whether or not prescription medicines can help you with your anger issues. Pay particular attention to potential side effects and any risks of addiction. The purpose of medications is to complement your healing, not to complicate it.

A number of over-the-counter medications and supplements can also be used to improve mood and support anger management therapy. These include:

Valerian

Primal Calm (formerly Proloftin)

Benadryl

Passionflower

Chamomile

Benadryl is an anti-allergy medication that also helps to reduce anxiety. Valerian and Primal Calm are herbal extracts that purportedly promote lowered stress levels and calm feelings. Passionflower and chamomile are usually consumed in either tea or tablet form to support mood and reduce anxiety.

How to Deal with ANGER!

How to Find the Best Anger Disorder Treatment Facility

If you are ready to take control of your anger issues, you need to find help treating anger management problem. Look for facilities that offer comprehensive assessment, treatment and follow-up programs. Speak to the health professionals directly, and ask questions about their qualifications, methods and expected results. Express any concerns you have, and make sure you fully understand all of the program costs. In many cases, your health insurance will cover at least part of the treatment expenses.

As with any therapy, you’ll receive the most benefits if you:

Treat your therapist as your partner

Share your thoughts and feelings openly and honestly

Stay consistent with your treatment plan

Remember that results take time and determination

Do whatever homework your therapist gives you between sessions

Communicate well and often with your therapist, particularly if you are having difficulties

What is the best therapy for anger management?

What Is Anger Management Therapy? 

Anger is a normal human emotion that most people experience every now and then. However, if you find yourself feeling angry very often or very intensely, it may start to become a problem. 

“Rage, persistent anger, or angry outbursts can have detrimental consequences for physical health, quality of life, and relationships,” says Erin Engle, PsyD, a psychologist at Columbia University Medical Center.

“Anger management is an approach designed to help you manage the emotional and physiological arousal that accompanies anger. As it's often not possible to change the circumstances or people that elicit anger, anger management can help you recognize your triggers for anger and learn to cope with them more effectively,” explains Engle.

The aim of anger management therapy is to help minimize stressful or anger-evoking situations, improve self-control, and help you express your feelings in a healthy manner, according to Engle.

Types of Anger Management Therapy

These are some of the different approaches to anger management therapy:

The Power of Not Reacting | Stop Overreacting | How to Control Your Emotions

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT is often the treatment of choice for anger management, according to Engle. She says it can help you understand your triggers for anger, develop and practice coping skills, and think, feel, and behave differently in response to anger, so you are calmer and more in control.

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT): According to Engle, DBT is a form of CBT that can help individuals with intense or frequent anger regain emotional control through developing emotional regulation and distress tolerance skills, mindfulness, and effective communication in relationships.

Family Therapy: This form of therapy can be helpful in situations where anger is often directed at family members. It can help you work together to improve communication and resolve issues.

Psychodynamic Therapy: Psychodynamic therapy can help you examine the psychological roots of your anger and your response to it, so that you can identify and correct unhealthy patterns.

Your mental healthcare provider will evaluate your circumstances and specific behaviors to determine the overall approach to treatment and whether you require medication in addition to therapy, says Engle. 

Techniques

Anger management therapy techniques can involve understanding your triggers and responses to anger, learning strategies to manage or diffuse it, and changing thoughts and attitudes related to anger. Engle outlines some of these techniques below.

Identifying Triggers and Responses

Therapy can help you develop a better understanding of the factors that contribute to expressions of anger; current and past triggers for anger; your responses to it; and the consequences or aftereffects to yourself and your relationships. 

For instance, you may realize that yelling at your spouse is related to observing your parents yell, or the belief that you'll only get what you want if you yell.

Learning Strategies to Diffuse Anger

Anger management therapy can equip you with strategies to disrupt your anger or manage your response to it through avoidance or distraction. 

Your therapist can help you problem-solve how to respond when you’re angry. Role-plays offer opportunities to practice skills such as assertiveness and direct communication that can enhance control.

Therapy can also teach you coping strategies and relaxation techniques, such as slow deep breathing, leaving the room and returning when you're collected, or using a relaxing image to alleviate the intensity of anger.

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Changing Attitude and Thought Patterns

Therapy can also involve restructuring thinking and changing attitudes related to anger, particularly if your therapist is taking a CBT approach.

Your therapist will help you examine your attitudes and ways of thinking and help identify patterns such as ruminating, catastrophizing, judging, fortune-telling, or magnifying that might exacerbate anger. 

Your therapist will also work with you to help you practice changing your response patterns. They can encourage forgiveness and compassion, offer ways to let go of hurt and disappointment, and help you repair and accept ruptured relationships.

What Anger Management Therapy Can Help With

While anger management is a form of treatment designed to help you manage anger, anger is not officially a condition that is diagnosed or defined, like depression or anxiety, for instance. However, intense, destructive, or uncontrollable anger may cause significant distress and impairment and impact safety, says Engle.

Anger management therapy can help anyone who experiences rage or has angry outbursts. Anger management therapy can help improve your:

Mental health: Anger can consume your focus, cloud your judgment, and deplete your energy. It can also lead to other mental health conditions such as depression and substance abuse.

Physical health: Anger manifests physically in the body with a surge of adrenaline, a rapid rise in heartbeat, higher blood pressure, and increased muscle tension in the form of a clenched jaw or fisted hands, says Engle. Over time, this can take a toll on your health and lead to physical health conditions.

Career: Anger can make it hard for you to focus on school or work and affect your performance. It can also harm your relationships with your peers. While creative differences, constructive criticism, and healthy debates can be productive, lashing out or having angry outbursts can alienate your peers and lead to negative consequences.

Relationships: Anger often harms loved ones the most and can take a toll on your relationships with them. It can make it difficult for them to be comfortable around you, erode their trust and respect, and be especially damaging to children.

Anger management therapy is sometimes court-ordered in case a person has committed criminal offenses, such as:

Anger Management (1/8) Movie CLIP - Rage on a Plane (2003) HD

Assault

Battery

Disturbing the peace

Domestic abuse or violence

Rape

 The Effects of Poorly Managed Anger

Benefits of Anger Management Therapy

These are some of the benefits anger management therapy can offer:

Identify triggers: Knowing what situations trigger your anger can help you avoid them or manage your reaction to them.

Change your thinking: Anger management can help you identify and change unhealthy thought patterns that fuel your anger.

Develop coping skills: Therapy can help you regulate your emotions, control your actions, and develop skills to help you cope with situations that trigger your anger.

Learn relaxation techniques: Your therapist may teach you relaxation techniques that can help you calm yourself down and relax your body and mind.

Solve problems: If certain situations trigger your anger repeatedly, your therapist may encourage you to look for solutions or alternatives. 

Improve communication: Anger management therapy can help you express your feelings in a healthy, respectful, or assertive manner, without being aggressive.

 Dealing With Anger in a Healthy Way Is Crucial

Effectiveness

According to Engle, CBT, which is often used to treat anger, is a very effective approach. CBT is an empirically-supported treatment that takes a skills-based approach to anger management, with emphasis placed on awareness of thoughts, behavioral patterns, and skill development with respect to physical and emotional reactions to anger, says Engle.

A 2017 study found that CBT was helpful to table tennis players with anger management issues. Even one year after completing treatment, participants were less likely to negatively express anger or react angrily.1

A 2020 study found that anger management therapy was beneficial to patients with HIV.2

Things to Consider

“As with any form of treatment, it can be beneficial to seek out the support and experience of a trained mental health professional. Professional evaluation and consultation can help identify any co-occurring mental health issues like trauma or substance use,” says Engle.

If you have a co-occurring mental health issue, it may be beneficial for you and your mental healthcare provider to determine if those disorders play a predominant role or how they can best be addressed in combination with anger management, according to Engle. 

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Depending on your co-occurring issues, your mental healthcare provider will determine an appropriate treatment plan and whether or not you require medication, explains Engle.

How to Get Started

If you find yourself arguing often, becoming violent or breaking things, threatening others, or getting arrested because of incidents related to your anger, you may need to seek anger management therapy.

Look for a trained mental health professional who specializes in this form of treatment.

Depending on your preferences, you can choose to opt for individual treatment or group therapy. Individual therapy sessions offer more privacy and one-on-one interaction whereas group therapy sessions can help you feel like you’re not going through this alone.

A Word From Verywell

Anger is a universal emotion that often arises in response to threat, loss of power, or injustice, says Engle. She explains that anger is not necessarily negative, though it can be detrimental at uncontrollable levels, given the behaviors likely to follow anger such as throwing things, walking out, attacking others, saying things you later regret, or acting passive-aggressively.

Anger can take a toll on your health, relationships, and career. Anger management therapy can help you regulate your emotions, maintain self-control, develop coping strategies, and communicate effectively.

Do you fume when someone cuts you off in traffic? Does your blood pressure rocket when your child refuses to cooperate? Anger is a normal and even healthy emotion — but it's important to deal with it in a positive way. Uncontrolled anger can take a toll on both your health and your relationships.

Ready to get your anger under control? Start by considering these 10 anger management tips.

Manage Your ANGER

1. Think before you speak

In the heat of the moment, it's easy to say something you'll later regret. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything — and allow others involved in the situation to do the same.

2. Once you're calm, express your anger

As soon as you're thinking clearly, express your frustration in an assertive but nonconfrontational way. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to control them.

3. Get some exercise

Physical activity can help reduce stress that can cause you to become angry. If you feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk walk or run, or spend some time doing other enjoyable physical activities.

4. Take a timeout

Timeouts aren't just for kids. Give yourself short breaks during times of the day that tend to be stressful. A few moments of quiet time might help you feel better prepared to handle what's ahead without getting irritated or angry.

5. Identify possible solutions

Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand. Does your child's messy room drive you crazy? Close the door. Is your partner late for dinner every night? Schedule meals later in the evening — or agree to eat on your own a few times a week. Remind yourself that anger won't fix anything and might only make it worse.

6. Stick with 'I' statements

To avoid criticizing or placing blame — which might only increase tension — use "I" statements to describe the problem. Be respectful and specific. For example, say, "I'm upset that you left the table without offering to help with the dishes" instead of "You never do any housework."

7. Don't hold a grudge

Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. But if you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn from the situation and strengthen your relationship.

8. Use humor to release tension

Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Use humor to help you face what's making you angry and, possibly, any unrealistic expectations you have for how things should go. Avoid sarcasm, though — it can hurt feelings and make things worse.

9. Practice relaxation skills

When your temper flares, put relaxation skills to work. Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as "Take it easy." You might also listen to music, write in a journal or do a few yoga poses — whatever it takes to encourage relaxation.

10. Know when to seek help

Learning to control anger is a challenge for everyone at times. Seek help for anger issues if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret or hurts those around you.

Anger and ADHD: How to Build up Your Brakes

food: Natural, unprocessed, no added sugar, also with amino acids, and vitamins:

omega-3 fatty acid: chia seeds, walnuts, flaxseed

dopamine: Egg, poulty, fish, leafy grens

Food that can help you with sleep :) magnesium rich ones: almonds, spinach, pumpkin seeds and sunflower seeds

Get more sun, more vitamin D: Fish, egg yolk, liver, supplements.

Without sunscreen, Uncovered big portion of skin for sun:

If you are light skinned and live away from equator: 20 mins is enough for vitamin D

dark skinned up to 40 mins.

Closer to equator will of course decrease needed minimum time.

Go to box to express yourself

If it happens that you break stuff from anger, try to imagine first what would happen after, maybe it can stop reaction.

Forget about source that makes you angry, try to ignore it or move away from it until you can calm down.

If you practice meditation, it is going to help you with focus, so you can ignore things more easily and clear anger from your body.

Try to write your feelings and situations that make you angry.

Maybe craft some items, or if you play instrument or draw you can also express you anger in it. It can help.

Hm, if you are tense enough to have anger problems, are things around you not going how they should be? If that's the case, try to plan your day, and when you finish a task, you can reward yourself. It can make your day better.

Hope this helps

Does Anger Counseling Work? | Anger Management

What are the 5 steps to managing anger?

Below is an approach to anger management used by Dr. Kim Masters, of Charter Hospital in Asheville, North Carolina. If you work with angry youth, you may want to learn these steps and integrate them into your practice.

1. Admit that you are angry, to yourself and/or to someone else.

2. Believe you can control your anger. Tell yourself that you can!

3. Calm down. Control your emotions. Take some time for yourself, breath deeply, count to ten, cry...do whatever works for you.

4. Decide how to solve the problem. This step only works once you are calm. Figure out what you need, and what's fair.

5. Express yourself assertively. Ask for what you need. Speak calmly, without yelling, and people will listen to you.