Narcissistic behaviour is unfathomable. Yet, even after experiencing the horrible, malicious things that a narcissist is capable of, you may be wondering the following …
Will he or she ever wake up? Will the narcissist ever regret their behaviour?
Is it possible for this person to have remorse for what they’ve done to you?
In today’s TTV episode I’m going to bring you the raw, unadulterated truth about these questions, and more … In such a way that hopefully you will never need to ponder this again!
Video Transcript
These are the questions on so many people’s lips …
Do narcissists know what they are doing?
Do they ever regret their behaviour?
Do they ever atone for what they’ve done?
If you want to know the truth to these questions, then watch on because I’m going to answer these questions and more in today’s TTV episode.
Before we get started, thank you everyone, who has supported the Thriver Mission by subscribing to my channel, and I’d like to remind you, if you haven’t already, please do. And if you enjoy this video make sure to give it a thumbs up!
Now let’s get started on this very important episode by looking at a humanity-based system of regret, and then we can move on to what narcissistic regret really is.
Understanding Genuine Regret
Genuine human regret contains the following vital points:
• Remorse for what happened to others.
• A desire to resolve damage caused to others.
• Wanting to atone and amend future behaviour.
Does this sound to you like what a narcissist is capable of?
Of course, it doesn’t, because it isn’t even what a narcissist wishes for. He or she does not want to be vulnerable, real, genuinely apologetic or hand over anything to others that may leave them susceptible to them.
In stark contrast, people who are not narcissistic, want to connect, care and can join with others in healthy ways. They desire teamwork and trust and know these are essential commodities in order to experience healthy relationships.
General Narcissistic Regret
Narcissistic regret contains these antisocial elements:
• Zero compassion, concern or care for others.
• Feelings of loss as a self-absorbed failure of their personal agenda.
• Comebacks that are equal to, or greater than, the previous pathological lies and manipulations.
Can you see the difference?
The narcissist may be feeling incredibly regretful about what didn’t work, or what was exposed. But this is purely about the narcissist, no one else.
A prime example is when a narcissist is dumped by someone else. He or she may feel the terrible regret of losing narcissistic supply. However, the object of supply is simply an object. This person was being used as a tool to regulate the narcissist’s emotions, without the exchange having anything to do with the other person’s feelings, rights or identity.
The narcissist may feel such ‘terrible (narcissistic) regret’ that he or she may feign responsibility or remorse, which may even come complete with crocodile tears.
Likewise, the narcissist may regret discarding you, if you don’t crawl back to him or her. But it doesn’t mean they feel sorry for the horrible things they did to you. They regret losing their narcissistic supply, sex, money, free living place and other privileges.
Yet, despite the act of trying to win you back, this person is likely to be scouting for new supply on the side simultaneously. As soon as a new source of supply (object) has been secured, then there is zero regret in the losing of the old source.
Of course, it comes complete with total malicious discard, much like one would eliminate an old pair of boots that one no longer wishes to wear.
Extended Narcissistic Regret
This next bit may really shock you.
I hope it does because it will allow you to stop trying to believe that a narcissist can adopt the genuine regret and remorse that normal people have, or that somehow you are going to be able to help them reach this level of humanity and emotional maturity.
The reality of narcissistic regret, in regard to their behaviours, is more sinister than you may have ever believed.
Not only do narcissists have a stunted ability to have genuine regret for what they have done to other people, they have actual regret regarding NOT being able to be more of a law onto themselves, and inflict even worse, conscienceless acts.
Examples of this are:
• Married or committed narcissists having to fit in with socially acceptable monogamy, and not being able to have sex with just anybody they want.
• Failing to exact revenge on people who they deemed to have betrayed them (not appeased their False Self enough) to the level that they really wanted to.
• Not being able to smear and defame another successfully enough to not be exposed by that person.
• Having to expend so much energy manipulating and charming their way to the goodies that they believe they should just be entitled to.
• Not having achieved more, or constantly having to construct elaborate lies, to make sure other people don’t steal the limelight from them.
I could write about another ten examples, but I hope that you get the point.
The narcissist does not fit into the normal humane construct that those with a soul and conscience do. Narcissism is a rogue system that is positioned on the constant requirement of filling an insatiable black hole within.
The narcissist’s fragile and highly disordered inner identity does not know how to operate in any other way.
The Short Answer to The Original Questions
Let’s go over this again …
Do narcissists know what they are doing?
Yes, they are doing whatever they are doing in order to secure narcissistic supply. There is no regret or remorse for doing that.
However, it’s important to understand that they have very little if any comprehension of how this affects other people. The truth is, to the narcissist, that’s irrelevant. They don’t care. People are only objects anyway.
Do they ever regret their behaviour?
Yes, a narcissist can regret their behaviour, but only ever in the context of it being only about the narcissist and their agenda.
Do they ever atone for what they’ve done?
A narcissist will not genuinely atone for what they’ve done.
They can feign genuine remorse and even apologise (fleetingly) but this is simply to reinstate the personal agenda, which sadly has nothing to do with care, compassion or love for others.
Once the cracks appear in relationships and dealings with others, it is usual that the narcissist will start looking for fresh supply on the side, and once secured, the old supply will be discarded as if it didn’t ever exist. Which, then is followed by the destruction of devaluation and smearing.
Of course, this happens until there comes a time when the new supply can be punished with the old supply, in which case triangulation can take place.
I hope that this episode has helped clear things up for you and made you realise that wanting a narcissist to be regretful, remorseful and atone in ways that have anything to do with you, is as fruitless as trying to play fetch with a crocodile.
The narcissist simply does not have the inner resources, or brain wiring, to comply.
What is vitally important for you is to let go of needing the narcissist to atone for you to heal. By focusing on him or her and not working on healing your woundedness of what went down, you are enslaving yourself to your own trauma prison indefinitely.
I can show you another way, a much better way to start healing and breaking free from this prison and narcissistic person, today.
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As always, I look forward to answering your comments and your questions below.
