How to Know if You Have ADHD
Talking too much and blurting out whatever is on one’s mind (whether it is appropriate or not) is a common concern that parents express. Kids with ADHD often have trouble inhibiting and controlling their responses.1 Instead, they may blurt out whatever first comes to mind without thinking through how their words may be received.
The impulsivity and hyperactivity associated with ADHD make it tough to stop and think—there is a lack of impulse control and filtering that can be quite off-putting to others, and quite difficult for the person with ADHD who ends up experiencing rejection as a result.
Kids (and adults) with ADHD may also monopolize conversations and talk excessively.2 Some parents might refer to it as "diarrhea of the mouth." It is like hyperactivity with words.
Excessive Talking
The first thing to do is to talk with your child’s doctor. Kids with ADHD often have trouble with "too much behavior"—too much talking, humming, noises, movement, fidgeting, wiggling, getting into things, etc. This overactivity and the constant struggle with self-control can be very frustrating for the child.
Your child's doctor may want to prescribe or change medications or refer your child to a therapist to address excessive talking. If it's left unaddressed, it may impair your child's social life.
The next thing to do is sit down with your child when they are fairly focused and amenable to talking and problem-solving. Address the talking/blurting out issue with them and come up with a plan to reduce the excessive talking. Your child may be interested in setting up a reward system to help motivate this change in behavior.3
Together with your child, come up with a signal you can give them to help increase their awareness of the times when they are talking too much—perhaps the signal could be you placing your hand on their shoulder as a reminder to stop when they are going on and on.
A physical signal like touching their shoulder is often stronger than a visual signal like a finger to the lips, but you may want to try using both signals together. It might help if you pair the signal with self-talk. In other words, when you place your hand on their shoulder or your finger to your lips, your child says either out loud or in their head, "I need to stop myself from talking right now" or something similar.
This self-talk can often be very helpful, especially for kids with ADHD who tend to lag a bit in their ability to use self-talk to guide their behaviors. You’ll need to provide a lot of modeling, feedback, and guidance to help them to develop this skill.4
Blurting Out
For the situations in which your child blurts out inappropriate things, teach them how to delay their response by counting to five before making comments, and then practice, practice, practice. This is another new skill that will require a lot of modeling and assistance from you.
Also, it is important to give your child frequent and immediate feedback about their behavior and let them know what they are doing well. Words of praise combined with strong incentives can be very powerful in motivating a change in behavior.5
