How do I know if I am changed or not?

 Can People Change?

What are some examples of behavior changes?

1. What is meant by "behavior change"? What are some instances of behavior change that can serve as phenomena to be explained or specific targets for intervention?

A common definition is challenging, but one answer could be: Guiding people to stop engaging in behaviors that have negative consequences for them. A frequent theme seems to be that people may want to change the behavior, but do not actually do so – for a host of reasons.

Choosing a set of concrete examples can also help ground the discussion, so that abstract theoretical claims can be spelled out in specific contexts.

Examples of behavior change

Quitting smoking
Increasing physical activity and exercise.
Improving nutrition.
Reducing drinking & Alcoholism.

Reduction in stress, anxiety, depression and sense of subjective well-being.
Medication adherence.
Use of screening practices (e.g. breast cancer, STIs).
Use of better or safer practices (e.g. reducing energy consumption, responsible driving behavior, use of condoms)

Enumerating these examples can also highlight coherent clusters of kinds of behavior change.

One rough distinction in categories of behavior change might be:

(1) Addictive behaviors (may involve issues with self-regulation, automatic habits, delay of gratification)

E.g. Drug abuse; Smoking; Severe Alcoholism; Binge eating.

(2) Non-addictive behaviors people may recognize the value of, but still not actually change (for a host of reasons, such as forgetting, insufficient motivation, or disagreement about the problem's severity.

E.g. Increasing physical activity and exercise. ; Improving nutrition; Reducing Alcohol Consumption; Medication adherence; Screening (e.g. breast cancer, STIs); Safe practices (e.g. reducing energy consumption, responsible driving behavior, use of condoms)

Jordan Peterson - How to Know You're Being Authentic Or Fake

How do you know that you are changed?

The best thing about the worst things we go through is that they are always pathways to something better. A breakdown = a breakthrough we haven’t seen the other side of yet. Often when we think our lives are most in chaos, it’s because they’re re-setting to where we want them to be. Here, a few (sometimes difficult) signs that your life is actually changing for the better, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.

1. You’re recognizing what you don’t want. All of a sudden, you’re becoming acutely aware of how much you dislike your work habits and how much your “friends” drain you and how little you feel like yourself lately. It may seem like you’re dissecting the anatomy of a disaster, but really, you’re getting clear on what you don’t want so you can get clearer about what you do.

2. You’re opening up to people again; isolation is no longer the most appealing option. Even if you’re just thinking about the fact that you need to open your heart more to the people around you, you’re already on the right track.

3. You’re unpredictably emotional. It’s just another way of saying that you’re not suppressing everything anymore. You’re beginning to feel again, which brings you one step closer to being able to deal with those feelings in a real way.

4. A lot of annoying clichés are starting to make sense. You’re seeing why hard work is important, and being present matters and positivity is a choice. You’re seeing how love is something you create and your life is what you make it and everything else that seemed like vapid, useless fodder is now the answer to everything, if only you could master it.

5. You’re becoming hyper self-conscious. It’s just a side effect of becoming more self-aware. Alternatively, you’re finally reaching a healthy equilibrium of being able to recognize both the positive and negative aspects about who you are, without denying or inflating either/or.

6. The changes you desire in your life surround wanting to feel more like yourself, not less. In the past, you may have dreamt of a life where you were über successful or incredibly beautiful or completely loved, all in an effort to combat feeling proportionately shitty about yourself. When you’re more in your center, you want your life to reflect who you are, not who you wish you were.

Know Thyself: Two Questions That Will Change Your Life | Julie Cantrell | TEDxLPLDenhamSpringsWalker

7. You feel “lost,” which is just another way of saying you’re detaching from your old ideas about what your life should be, or what the future should hold, and so on. Living in the present feels an awful lot like being “lost” before we get used to it.

8. You’re seeing your hardships as portals to a better understanding of yourself. Rather than battle off your emotional trauma or low self-esteem – or worse, try to control something else in its place – you’re beginning to realize that on the other side of the things that most deeply plague you is a deeper truth about who you are.

9. You’re beginning to realize that if you have a problem in your life, the problem is you. Aside from the fact that people love to project their issues onto other people and deflect from their own faults, whether or not a situation was your fault, if it is affecting you, it is your responsibility to change. The blame game is an irrelevant one. It’s as simple as that.

10. You know you’re not getting enough out of life, but now you’re starting to that maybe you’re not giving enough, either. You complain that you don’t have love but you don’t actually go out and try to date. You hate your job, but you don’t look for a new one. You’re always stressed, but you don’t work on being better about regulating your emotions or being able to focus harder and work more efficiently. You both recognize that you want more from your life and understand that it’s time you start making that happen.

Let’s try to understand it with test cases.

Resisting Change is Resisting Life - Sadhguru

Case 1: I am a short temper guy and trying to change my behavior.

Someone suggested me to do this whenever I loose my temper, go to backyard of your house and nail one pin into the wall. Just after few days I found the wall is full which means instead of busting my anger on someone I have pushed it into the wall. That indicates I am controlling my anger.

Case 2: I try to change my daily routine like waking up early.

I am staying in Bangalore where Kaveri water line will open only for 10 minutes at 6 AM, what will I do? Considering the fact that bathing is must :) The day I start taking bath is first tick on my progress report.

No matter what change you want to bring in yourself, the fact is you have to set your own threshold to check your progress. If the change is impacting others then probably they will notice and let you know about the new changes.

Hope it helps!

You were a child going in nursery school and with time studied in standard 7th, you hardly would be knowing it but your parents would have seen you growing.

So now you have become an adult missing the reason where and how you have reached at the present stage.

All the while you were being influenced by surrounding and your own personal quality combined that has made you reach where you stand TODAY.

Now the query above initiated has far deeper meaning where you acknowledge something or trait or habit in self that you desire to polish and so seeking to know the change.

Is that so?

The change is always so gradual one may never know, important is that the desire and the longingness sustains provoking self to correct when needed.

We need to modify the habits you are looking for but remember old habits die hard and so has to be forced for quite long time.

It could take 5 to 6 years one has to be aware in being conscious of it and then gradually could be part of modified state.

Further there is no full stop when we use the word of gradual because one change habit culminates in modification in so many other.

How changing your mindset can help you embrace change | Manu Shahi | TEDxFlowerMound

You can know after extended period by virtues then comparing your own mental state like less of irritation you use to get on smaller things as one.

The association or the quality changes with whom you interact or the subject you spend in discussing.

The change should show in intelligence which can be gauged by difference in decisions taking power or discrimination faculty before and after the modified practice.

Hmmm if you are raising this question means either you felt your changing or you felt you are not changing or some one would have commented on you.

In my point of view I would say if you are talking about the lifestyle, emotions and character wise

1. People may address you telling you have changed or you are changing.
2. Or you might be feeling that you behaviour, lifestyle or emotions are not like it was before.
3. If someone or you yourself think or comment that you are not like before or you are doing things differently; so this may be for both good and bad.

These may be few reasons for knowing if you are changing or not

Hope this helps.

With passing time, we all start changing and there comes a point when we almost forgot our old being and live our new self.

The change may be positive or negative. The change may led us to good or it may even led us to the dump.

Change: an Opportunity rather than a Fear | Stella Bida | TEDxULB

When we start changing wheather it may be good or bad, positive or negative, our peers, colleagues, friends and family are the first to notice this change. We start getting comments like “You are getting changed... You are not like my old friend” and so on. Though everyone doesn't pass on the negative comments, there are also people who are happy with your change and support it.

But despite all comments and all rumours, it's you who has to follow all the consequences of all the changes. So, analyze yourself, think about yourself as another person and then judge that other person. If you keep any diary or photos, you can go through them ,you would get to know what you have lost or left behind, what new you have opt and what's worth keeping and what deserves to be removed right now.

For more analytic support you could look yourself in the mirror and then talk to yourself.

These are the signs I look for after coaching hundreds of people and going through massive change myself

Knowing whether a person is really ready to change is a useful skill that you can learn.

I’ve been a coach for two years now and have worked with hundreds of clients, but unofficially, I’ve also always been “that friend” whom people naturally came to with their problems. People come to me because they are unhappy or feel stuck. They want a new job, want to get promoted in their current job, or make more money in their business. Those are superficial reasons. After speaking with someone for thirty minutes or less, I figure out the real problems.

Every person who comes to me for coaching wants a change, but not all want to change. Half of them will accept responsibility for their current circumstances, and the other half will go down in flames, blaming others and refusing to change.

This Graph Changed My Life

I reject many people who come to me because we aren’t a good fit. I do it gently, in a non-confrontational way, because I am an empath. I feel sad when I know they aren’t ready to change. Sometimes they’ll return to my life later. People grow emotionally, so there is always hope.

I should know: I went through many hardships in my life and had to re-invent myself more than once. Each time, I thought I was a bad person and that other people I trusted were to blame for hurting me. It took years to fully understand the toxic pattern, but I was ready to help others once I did.

You may have a person in your life who you want to help. I feel you. This is one reason I became a coach because I grew up in a dysfunctional family and saw what broken adults look like. Today I’m writing to say there are signs if a person is ready for change and will change…or not.

They Fully Accept Responsibility For Their Current Circumstances

As I mentioned earlier, only when one realizes they are responsible for where they are can I work with them. As long as they continue believing their life situation results from others’ actions or random circumstances, they are not ready for change.

What about victims of an assault, a loss, or other terrible events? Tragedy can strike, but it only means this is part of your journey, and your job is to figure out what to do with it. Feel it and process the pain. Then use it. Pain is power. You can choose to let it eat you up from the inside or propel you to new heights. Maybe it is your destiny to help others.

They Let Go Of Hatred and Remorse

A person can accept responsibility for their situation, but that isn’t enough. As long as they continue harboring negative feelings towards others, they’ll never be free.

People who hurt you were definitely broken people themselves. The work here is to grow your empathy, forgive (or at least accept) them, and make peace with your past.

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I know this is a major request, and I don’t expect it to happen overnight. They did you wrong, and I honor that fact. Yet, if you want to move forward, you’ll need to let them go now. Forgive them not as in saying, “It is ok what you did.” but as in “You did something wrong, but now it is time to release you from my soul so that I can move on with my life and my healing.”

Guess what? Maybe the person you need to forgive most is the person in the mirror. It is time.

They Step Outside of their Comfort Zone

People who are ready for a change stop avoiding the things they fear most. Instead, they address the difficult issues head-on. They embrace their fears and discomforts and keep going anyway. They eventually feel safe and confident that they are strong enough to handle those emotions and yet come out whole on the other side.

I wish there were an easier way, but having done so myself, I need to be honest when I say you must address the uncomfortable, difficult, soul-wrenching issues. It is a rite of passage and a cleansing experience to get from a place of hurt to a place of peace. Do what you fear most. You don’t have to do it alone. Find a trusted mentor, coach, or therapist to support you in this work. They will know the steps you need to take.

They Give Up Toxic People

This is sometimes the hardest step of all. Toxic people make everyone around them toxic. You can’t win.

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The problem is that, when we are broken, we often love broken people. Why? Because it is so much easier and fulfilling to carry someone else’s problems than to focus on the scary stuff: ourselves. The more problems someone else has, the better you feel about yourself since you can justify that your issues aren’t really all that bad. This is a terrible cycle of co-dependency and enablement. There is no winner in the end since both of you will go down in flames.

We are not meant to be a savior to others. When we put on our oxygen mask first and heal ourselves, these toxic people will no longer want to be with us since the relationship's core was based on victimhood disguised as love. It becomes time for a permanent change, and the person willing to change will accept this.

They Start at Ground Zero

No one is without a past, yet once you’ve gone through the release and the healing process of facing your demons and letting go, you will be standing on ground zero. Ground zero is a transition place, a new start.

Here you can remember all the things of your past, yet you don’t feel personally triggered by them anymore.

One door has closed, and now you are standing in front of multiple doors. Who are you? Who do you want to become? This is the beginning of a journey of change. You have released yourself from the labels and invisible chains of who you once were and are completely open to all possibilities that the future may hold. You feel curious, excited, and ready.

Conclusion

No one says that change is easy. In fact, the longer a person has lived in a dead-end cycle of blame, victimhood, and negativity or unhealthy relationships, the harder the journey will be.

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A person who needs to make a profound change may at one point even feel that they’ve lost their identity and are completely alone. I speak from personal experience, and I won’t lie: I was terrified to change. I found that instead of focusing on what I had to lose, I had to look at all that I had to gain.

Imagine your future. Visualize how you want your life to be. Write down your list of “Why.” Please do it for yourself, your kids, or your future kids, and for humanity because each of us has a purpose and a gift to share with this world.

Can a person actually change?

Can People Change?

It's the first thing they say after breaking your heart: They can change if only you'll give them a second chance. And while you really want to believe them, you are left wondering, "can people change, or do they just lie?" The simple answer is people can change, but it doesn't necessarily mean they will. Change requires having an openness to experience and a bit of hard work.

Can You Trust Someone Who Has Lied To You In The Past?

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What Impacts People's Ability to Change?

Making changes in life isn't easy. It's much easier to just follow your whatever behavior comes naturally. But that doesn't mean you or others can't change. It's possible for any person to change-if they truly work to. There are a few things that impact a person's ability and desire to make changes in life. They include genetics, motivation, and personality. We will discuss these in more detail below.

Can People Really Change?

There are countless stories of people that have overcome substance abuse to find a better life, strayed in a relationship and came back to build it healthier than ever, or lived completely selfish lives and then made their life all about others. People tend to respond to others according to their own senses of conscientiousness and agreeableness. These stories prove that people can change and move into a more positive direction.

In fact, research that looked at 200 studies found that with the right treatment, people are even able to change their personalities. So the question isn't really whether people can change as much as why some do but others don't. We'll explore that question below.

Everyone has areas they can improve in life. People really change when they want to. So whether you need to make changes in your life, or you're counting on someone else to make changes themselves, it is possible.

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Can People Change Biologically?

Psychology Today states that much of what we are could be caused by genetics. Although the environment obviously shapes the way we think, there are also biological factors that account for supposedly 70 percent of differences.

That's to say many psychologists now figure genetics is more important than the environment. Another thought from the same theory suggests that people who are born with predominant biological factors tend to follow social patterns that are strongly influenced by their genetic gifts. You may have heard the phrase, “a leopard can’t change its spots.” In essence, the argument is that the environment cannot force someone to be something contrary to their biology.

However, the article in Psychology Today also went on to say that "biologically influenced" should not be confused with "biologically determined," which is the idea that society should accept negative behavior as something unchangeable. We are not programmed or hardwired to change a person’s original behavior. Even though some people are programmed for specific personality traits, there is still hope that society and the environment can reprogram negative behavior, and break bad habits, thus the spirit of change.

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Breaking Down Personality Traits

Researchers have broken down the differences in people’s personalities into five major traits which are often referred to as the big five personality traits. The five traits include openness to experience, extroversion, neuroticism, conscientiousness, and agreeableness. These traits help to explain how people think and behave. When people are rated on personality tests, they’re rated as higher or lower than most people for each trait. Personality tests indicate that most traits tend to stay fairly consistent throughout adulthood.

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In new research in psychology today, researchers have introduced a six-factor model known as HEXACO which adds the personality traits of honesty and humility to the original five traits.

The Role of Personality Disorders

But what about when it's not experimenting, and the negative behavior goes well beyond the experimental and youthful stage? There is the possibility that if the change is related to a major personality disorder, such as APD (antisocial) or NPD (narcissistic), then real change is only possible under professional supervision. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) involves reprogramming negative behavior, but even as powerful as treatment and medication can be, limiting conditions like APD and NPD can be very challenging. When they’re successful, it can change your personality and friends and family members are pleasantly surprised at how people really change.

It's important to ask what do you expect to change? If you are the one trying to change, or the partner of someone trying to change, do you want to change the nature of the person? Major personality disorders aside, the research on how and why people change has been promising. According to a study by the University of Illinois, subjects were tested to see if and to what degree they could "grow a new personality" over 16 weeks. The results were moderate. But one thing that was noticed was that the people that did show the most promise also wanted to change some aspect about themselves in their "real life" or true personality.

Mental Health Disorders and Personality Change

Borderline personality disorder is a condition where people have a drastic personality change. According to Psychology Today, borderline personality is a chronic mental illness with severe mood and emotional instability. Psychiatrists describe this illness as being at the border of psychosis and neurosis. The symptoms may include self-injury by cutting and suicide attempts. Because of the severity of personality change, it may seem that there’s no hope for people with borderline personality disorder. The disorder can often be treated successfully with therapy and medication.

With the right treatment for borderline personality disorder, people really change. Borderline personality causes severe emotional instability which can be difficult for friends and family members to deal with. Support groups for friends and family members are often successful for helping people feel not so alone in dealing with the disorder.

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Eating disorders are another condition that causes a personality change. An eating disorder isn’t classified as a personality disorder. Psychology Today describes eating disorders as psychological illnesses that are characterized by unhealthy, obsessive, or disordered eating habits. Eating disorders bring about emotional instability because it upsets the normal digestive cycle that feeds all other bodily systems. It’s challenging to treat eating disorders, but many people are successful after attending therapy and support groups.

Bipolar disorder is a mental health disorder where someone’s personality can change seemingly in a heartbeat. Psychology Today reports that some people still refer to bipolar disorder as manic depression. The symptoms of bipolar disorder involve drastic mood swings that alternate between severe emotional instability and depression. During bouts of mania, a person living with bipolar disorder experiences a emotional instability that includes a mix of irritability, anger, depression, and sometimes euphoria.

Therapists make a diagnosis of bipolar disorder using tests; therapy and/or medication are indicated for people that get a diagnosis of bipolar disorder.

A diagnosis of bipolar disorder may be classified as Bipolar 1 or Bipolar 2. Psychology Today describes Bipolar 1 as people that have had at least one manic episode which causes an extreme personality change enough to require hospital care. Bipolar 1 may include a major depressive episode, but not always. People that have Bipolar 2 normally have major depressive episodes that last at least two weeks along with hypomania. Hypomania is a mild or moderate type of mania that normally doesn’t require hospitalization.

The length of time that alternating moods last and the frequency with which they occur varies substantially from person to person. Where the mood fluctuation is frequent and it occurs at least four times per year, it’s known as rapid cycling. Rapid cycling is very difficult to deal with because of the extreme emotional instability and unpredictability.

Changing my life.

Bipolar disorder can be accurately diagnosed with psychologic tests—therapy and medication are the preferred courses of treatment where bipolar disorder is indicated. The symptoms of bipolar disorder are challenging for the person living with it and their families to manage on a long-term basis, making it seem like it’s impossible for the person to change. In fact, with the right treatment protocol for bipolar disorder, people really change.

People Have to Want to Change

This lends credence to the argument that says if you want to change, not just in words but on a personal level, you will learn new behavior in a way that helps you achieve your goals which should include emotional stability. People really change when they want to and they’re invested in the process. If a person’s behavior hasn’t changed despite agreeing to do so over several periods of time, the odds of changing probably aren’t good

Can You Trust Someone Who Has Lied To You In The Past?

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CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOR GOOD | POWERFUL Motivational Video Speech Compilation

If a person's goals are altered, their thoughts change, their behaviors change. If the goals of the person stay the same, and they want the same basic needs met that their current lifestyle allows, it's unlikely they will ever change. It’s not that they can’t change, the reason being, they are unwilling to change, so they don’t change. They find no advantage in changing. If promises work in calming a suspicious partner, there is no reason to change their thought processes or behaviors. All they have to do is make more promises, and in their subconscious, they probably know this.

If, however, they see the need to change to preserve what they hold precious, they will alter their goals and be willing to alter their lifestyle. They will change their thoughts, which lead to actions and look for a new way of coping with daily stresses. They may at some point, find situations or even people in life that drive them back to their destructive habit, whether it's drug addiction, a violent temper, or cheating.

Can People Change?

Yes. Getting professional help indicates a genuine desire to change, beyond empty promises.

A professional therapist approaches the situation with a clear objective: to change the thinking patterns and to help the patient learn productive ways to cope with stress. This is what online counseling, such as the services offered by BetterHelp, can help you with. This puts you in touch with experts trained in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and other proven methods. BetterHelp can offer you a distinct advantage to traditional in-person therapy, working with your available hours and giving you the privacy of your own home for sessions-or wherever you feel comfortable. The best way to change permanently is to get someone's help. You can read reviews of BetterHelp counselors below, from people experiencing similar issues.

Counselor Reviews

"Dr. Tassava is the best counselor I've ever had. She offers me real-life techniques and tools to handle my anxiety and stress. She has never once judged me for any of my issues and has honestly supported me through the most difficult time in my life. Over the past few months, with her support and guidance, I have been able to change my thinking, reacting and how I handle major anxiety and stress. I am so thankful for her. Not only has she changed my life for the better... honestly, she's saved my life."

DISCIPLINE YOUR MIND! - 1-Hour Long | BEST Motivational Video Speech Compilation

"Mary Smith is very thoughtful and a great listener. I can tell she has a lot of experience dealing with many situations and people, which gives me comfort. She always stays on track with my concerns and goals, and always offers relevant suggestions and tools to help me to conquer issues. I definitely recommend Mary Smith to anyone who feels stuck in their toxic ways formed by difficult past experiences, but you want to overcome them. I believe Mary has the skills to help someone who really wants to change for the better."

Conclusion

So, the simple answer to the question "can people change?" is yes - with the right tools. Take the first step today.

Friedrich Nietzsche - How To Find Yourself (Existentialism)

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Are people capable of change?

Contrary to popular belief that people can’t change -- people are capable of change. The most important factors to consider when it comes to making changes is the willingness of the person to make a change. People change when they are left with no other choice or to keep up with changing and evolving goals.

It’s important to understand that what it takes in order for a person to change will depend on many factors and can be hard work. The likelihood that someone will make lasting change can be impacted by their level of conscientiousness and agreeableness. These are two of the big five personality traits that can impact a person’s ability to see areas that they need to change, such as bad habits, and follow through on making it happen.

Can we truly change?

According to medical and mental health experts, people really do have the ability to change. With proper treatment, guidance, and therapy, people can learn to undo negative thinking patterns that result in negative behaviors and outcomes in their lives.

Is it possible to change yourself?

Research has shown that it is possible to improve negative personality traits with therapeutic intervention and treatment. Learning how to change yourself involves learning new strategies and behaviors that lead to more productive thinking patterns.

Most people need professional guidance and support to change. This isn’t to say that people can’t change themselves. However, the likelihood of a lasting change is more likely with professional support

The Night That Changed Germany's Attitude To Refugees

Can toxic people change?

When toxic people are willing to accept their negative behavior and are also willing to learn new productive thinking strategies, behaviors, and ways to cope -- it is possible for them to change.

People have to be willing to accept that their negative personality traits exist in order to change them. Talking to a licensed therapy provider can help you accept and change your negative personality traits more easily.

Can a person change his nature?

Yes, it is possible for someone to change their nature. Learning to change your nature involves a willingness to look at the issues and problems you’re having in full. This means you have to be willing to acknowledge both positive and negative aspects of yourself.

Once you have a complete understanding of who you’ve been as a person thus far, then you can work with a licensed therapy professional to design the next phase of your life.

How do I change everything about me?

Making positive changes to improve your thinking patterns, emotional reactions, and outward appearance requires a commitment to riding out the ups and downs of the entire process. Changing small things at a time is the best way to make lasting changes that stay with you for the rest of your life. Talk to a licensed therapist about how making incremental changes in your daily habits can help you change your life.

Can a person change overnight?

If someone experiences a highly traumatic event, this can cause them to appear to change completely overnight. In many cases, the shock of a traumatic event results in mental health changes and disorders like post-traumatic stress syndrome and anxiety. In contrast, if the stakes are high enough, people can change for the better in the same fashion.

How do you love your self?

If you’re on the pathway to learning how to love yourself, the best thing to do is to start being honest with yourself. Acknowledge the totality of you means accepting both the positive and negative aspects of your personality and reconciling that with your reality. People who are struggling with loving themselves -- as they are, should seek therapy with a licensed psychologist or therapist.

San Holo - you’ve changed, i’ve changed (feat. Chet Porter) (Official Lyric video)

Can people change the way they see themselves?

Do you like the person that you see when you look in the mirror? If you’re constantly finding flaws in yourself or if you have an overinflated sense of self, these are both issues that can be helped with therapeutic treatment from a mental health professional.

A mental health professional can help you unlearn negative thinking patterns and teach you healthier ways to create a positive self-image.

How can I completely change my life?

With the “right” motivation and under the “right” circumstances, people can change. (What’s considered as right or wrong is relative to the individual.) The most important obstacle to remove on your way to self-improvement is your “willingness” to change.

Being willing to change means that you are fully committed to completing the unlearning and relearning process -- no matter what it takes. If you’re ready to make a change or if you need help becoming motivated to set new goals to make the necessary changes in your life -- talk to a licensed therapy professional.