Marcus Aurelius – How To Build Self Discipline (Stoicism)
School season is in full swing for my husband and he is accepting patients, my daughter started Pre-K and has homework, my son is crawling and eating anything he can put his hands on, and I’m working while trying to complete my capstone to graduate.
Admittedly, this is possibly the busiest we’ve ever been, and quite frankly, we are all exhausted. However, it is during the busiest moments of our lives that we must remind ourselves why it is all worth it. Therein lies the value of vision.
Before I begin discussing the three types of self-discipline you need to accomplish your vision, allow me to use a conscious discipline method that my daughter taught me, I encourage you to practice it with me right now. The method is called STAR, which means, smile, take a deep breath, and relax.
Give it a try right now, smile, take a deep breath, and relax.
Remember how that method made you feel because we will discuss it again shortly.
Three types of Self-Discipline
There are many ways that we can implement self-discipline practices everyday. Here are examples of three types: active discipline, reactive discipline, and proactive discipline.
Active discipline is doing what you need to in that very moment such as eating a healthy meal, limiting your distractions while studying, and exercising.
You were actively disciplined when you chose to eat healthy instead of unhealthy. You were disciplined when you took the time to study and turned your phone off. Another example happened when you decided to exercise instead of watch TV or surf the internet.
Reactive discipline is controlling your thoughts or behaviors when dealing with unforeseen situations such as getting a flat tire on your way to work, dealing with a rude person, and locking your car keys in your car.
Instead of complaining, you used these situations as opportunities to learn. When you got the flat tire, you got the tire fixed. In that moment, you chose to be grateful that it was just a flat tire and no one was hurt.
When dealing with that rude person, you turned the other cheek. You realized that their rudeness was their issue and not yours. You understood that “an eye for an eye” leaves everyone blind. You decided to treat that person with extra kindness because they needed it.
You locked your car keys in the car. You said to yourself, “It’s okay, mistakes happen.” You realize the importance of forgiving yourself and moving on. You know that this is just one minor setback during your full 24 hour day.
Proactive discipline is doing things in advance in an effort to better control a situation such as bringing an umbrella on a rainy day, creating a to-do list, and going to bed on time.
You watched the news that morning and prepared for the weather. You had goals that you needed to accomplish on a deadline and decided to create a to-do list to prioritize those goals. Instead of staying up late, you decided to go to bed early to wake up on time the next day.
Admittedly, it is hard to commit to self-discipline everyday. Self-discipline is no easy feat because we are constantly faced with issues that seem to occur at the most bothersome time.
It is true that we have no control over what can happen but we do have control over how we react to what happens. We also have access and opportunity to practice techniques that enable us to exercise self-discipline and reach our vision.
Practicing Self-Discipline
A vision statement is what motivates you to reach your goals in life. Lack of self-discipline delays us from accomplishing our vision and failure to implement self-discipline techniques causes us to stray away from our vision.
When determining self-discipline techniques, consider your vision statement and these six questions.
- What can you do in this very moment to achieve what you want to accomplish?
- If you encounter a set back, how will you react to it?
- What is the worst thing that can happen or what might go wrong?
- Do you have a method to deal with it?
- How can you prepare to achieve your vision?
- What should you begin doing today that can help you reach your vision tomorrow?
Now, recall the STAR method. Remember how that exercise made you feel? Good! I’ll share a secret that I’ve used for sometime to help with self-discipline and accomplishing my vision.
Secret: Practicing self-discipline well and achieving your vision happens when three things occur: 1. You feel good while achieving your vision, 2. You do not allow setbacks to control your feelings, and 3. You feel good after your vision is accomplished.
Now STAR, you’ve got this. Go out and accomplish what you’ve been put on this earth to do!
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Carjamin Scott can be reached at carjamin.scott@gmail.com and you can follow her on twitter @scottcarjie.
