When Did You Lose Your Childhood Innocence? (r/AskReddit)
A recent international survey says children these days lose their innocence by the age of 12. So, are you a worried parent?
Thanks to the pressures — and pleasures — of modern life, children these days lose their innocence by the age of 12. This startling fact came to the fore during a recent international survey, conducted for a popular parenting website in the UK.
In fact, around 16% parents said that their child’s innocence was lost by the age of 10, thanks to the internet and celebrity culture. BT spoke to experts and parents in the city and found that the study holds true for Mumbai as well.
Expert speak
Consultant psychiatrist Dr Milan Balkrishnan says such cases are quite common in Mumbai. He says, “Kids these days mature faster — both physically and emotionally. The age of menarche and attaining puberty has also dropped. Indian children are exposed to adult content on the internet, social networking sites and television.”
He adds that children are learning much more than the “birds and bees” at an early age. Innocence is lost, but it’s an expected outcome of the information age.
He recounts the case of a tween girl, who was brought for counselling by her parents. She was found exchanging inappropriate content on a social networking site. She was friends with much older boys online, making her parents further anxious.
“The parents reacted by taking away her computer, mobile phone and clamping down on her completely. She retorted by being irritable, aggressive and rebellious. She was being treated unfairly,” he recalls.
Parent speak
According to the survey, around 50% parents with daughters in their tweens say that the youngsters are under a lot of pressure to look thin.
Sulekha Sharma, who has a 12-year-old daughter, says, “My daughter is influenced by Kim Kardashian. She thinks her beauty is taking her places (which is true) and wants to be that way. My daughter feels good when someone calls her thin. A compliment such as ‘intelligent’ is way lower in her priority list than ‘pretty and thin’.”
Sulekha also says children are overtly aware of information about sexual activities. Newspapers and internet have definitely influenced the young minds. “After the recent Nirbhaya gang-rape case in Delhi, I had to tell my daughter a lot of things to keep her safe. Had it not been for that incident, I would have told her all this a year later,” she says.
Psychologist and child counsellor Chandni Mehta says the issue of children losing their innocence at an early age has been there for a while. Just that it’s becoming more common now. “Today, boys as young as 11 and 12 get very conscious about their looks. For example, they worry about pimples, acne, hairstyles, etc. They want to bunk class and indulge in smoking to appear cool and impress girls.”
Parents partly responsible
Apart from exposure to internet, social media, celebrity culture and peer pressure, parents are also responsible for kids losing their innocence at an early age, opines Mehta.
Many parents give their children unlimited pocket money, surround them with gadgets, take them for shopping at high-end retail stores, etc. On the other end of the spectrum are parents who force their children to excel in everything — be it extracurricular activities or studies. Such parents also need counselling.
