Habits of extremely charming people…
Undoubtedly, being a very nice person opens many doors. That is why I recommend that you try to develop these habits in your way of being and communicate.
Surely you know more than one person with this profile. They are people who always answer the phone or return calls. They always have someone willing to pick them up, but not if they do not, nothing happens because they always find parking.
1. Always smile
The smile inspires confidence, makes people feel comfortable, and even more important than this, the listener is enveloped by the atmosphere of happiness that conveys the smile.
It's not like you should smile even when you're asleep, but I'm sure you've ever said or heard someone say something similar to "I love Fulanito, he's always smiling." Well that's what people should say about you.
Did you know that if a waiter smiles at you constantly, you have three times as many chances of receiving a tip as another waiter who treats you just as well but does not smile at you?
Of course, respect the moments and keep in mind the next point.
2. Imitation as the origin of empathy
Voluntarily or involuntarily, the "super-charming" mimic the gestures of the person with whom they are communicating. Frown when you do, smile when you smile, cross your legs or even scratch your nose if you do. But do not overdo it.
Numerous studies by renowned universities and researchers have concluded that we are more likely to feel comfortable and empathize with people who imitate our body language. It is familiar and not aggressive. Moreover, by imitating (with the appropriate restraint) the body language of your interlocutor, you may even find it attractive.
3. They ask open questions.
They feel a sincere interest in knowing about you, and they show it through open questions, those in which a simple "yes" or "no" is not enough. They ask questions that allow you to develop your answer and tell you about a topic that you love to talk about: "yourself". And do not tell me stories that you're not like that, it's scientifically proven that we all like to talk about ourselves.
4. They talk about happy things
They leave negative conversations aside and focus more on positive ones. They tell pleasant stories, they deal with happy topics. Conversations with "have you read about ... (some sad news) ...? what a shame, right? "and that kind of comments.
We are talking about people that leave you leave a feeling of joy, happiness, you retire with a smile on your face. Surely you also know the opposite side, those with whom the conversation almost always has a negative spirit, sadness, talk about the crisis, an accident, etc. Those who say goodbye to you go home worse than you were before talking to them.
When do you say goodbye to someone you want to leave him with a smile on his face or do you want him to think about a tragic accident?
5. Do not complain
Surely you know who I'm talking to when I say "buff, you're always complaining about something!" ... Do you want to be that person? Is not it? Well, the "super-charming" are not this kind of people. On the contrary, because of many problems that you have, you will not hear them reiterate again and again in them, and if they do, they do it with grace and joy, in such a way that it seems more a challenge than a problem.
6. They listen more than they speak
If you want to leave a good impression and that people think you are an extremely nice person with whom you can have a great conversation, let them tell you their story. Listen with sincerity and attention to what they tell you, and allow them and help them talk and talk.
A few weeks ago at a barbecue, a friend introduced me to his sister. We talked 10 minutes. I knew that I had been traveling through Mongolia. So I asked him about his trip. The next day my friend told me "My sister says you are super nice that you fell incredibly well what did you tell her?" He had asked three main questions: "How was your trip to Mongolia?", "What do you like most?", "Would you recommend it?". In addition to several small comments of reinforcement to what she told me as "Wow!" "Sounds great", "has to be great", "and that?", "I would love", etc.
In conclusion, I did not tell anything, I just made him feel very comfortable telling me about his trip.
7. They are not worried about looking vulnerable
They tend to be self-confident and therefore do not fear being vulnerable, because they know that everyone is, and that some simply prefer to pretend that they are not. But they do not care about this. When they open that door, they connect with their interlocutor, because he sees them as a sincere and humble person.
But be careful, if you are a nest of insecurities ... there is a thin line that separates vulnerable from being a whiner. Do not cross that line.
8. They like to be grateful
And this makes your interlocutor feel comfortable with them. To thank another is to give him recognition for the action he has taken. It's giving him an imaginary pat on the back, and we all like acknowledgments and patting.
On the opposite side we find the "badly grateful" ... How much do you enjoy hanging out with them? Do you like to do them favors? The answers are obvious and they help me to emphasize this point: Always be grateful.
9. Take advantage of physical contact
It is a fact, scientifically proven, that physical contact helps us connect with our interlocutor. Super-charmers know well (instinctively or premeditated) how to use these techniques without crossing the line that makes the other person feel uncomfortable.
The correct use of this contact, helps you to put emphasis on the environment you want to transmit and can help you sell more, transmit joy, tranquility, etc.
For example, a greeting with the hand is not the same as accompanying this by putting your hand on the other person's shoulder or above your elbow. The latter transmits joy to see the other person.
10. They look for the point of agreement, instead of the disagreement
This may be easier to explain by talking about the opposite side. If I say "have you noticed that _____ always has the opposite, no matter what you say?", Could you fill in the blank with a name? Surely, we all know someone like that. Sooner or later people get tired of that attitude.
If you want to fall in grace, it is better to find the points of agreement. Mind you, I'm not telling you to give the reason for that, but to look for the common point that unites you.
11. They think about what you are saying, and not about what they will respond to you.
They say that one of the biggest problems of communication is that we do not listen to understand or feel empathy, but that we do it to respond.
If from time to time you interrupt your interlocutor "because you already know what he is going to say to you" then it is very likely that you are one of those who listen to respond.
A "super-charming" makes you feel heard and this is achieved, first paying real attention, and second with a body language appropriate to what you say, as well as comments that support and give strength to what you comment.
Remember that it is best if you are always yourself, unless you are unbearable. Be as you are, we can always improve; It's my goal every day and it should also be yours, because as perfect as you are, you can always be better
