Be Dangerous But Disciplined - Jocko Willink & Jordan Peterson
How can I tell if my girlfriend really loves me?
Getting a girlfriend seems easy these days. You log on to any social networking site like tinder/bumble and speak well and you get a partner [Mostly]. Relationship may go on for a while and then most likely you get bored with each other and you fall apart. But, this is not in the case of real relationships. Some relationships are born to last and some relationships does end in marriage and continue till they die.
A girlfriend is someone who loves you and also cares you for the most and motivates you in your life while being there for you. So how can you tell if she really loves you :
- She doesn’t show it everywhere, doesn’t put fancy statuses or fancy uploads like most modern day relationships - but does prove that she is in a relationship with you by being there for you “always”
- When you’re down, she motivates you with all her heart and doesn’t expect you to do the same in return - she only asks your presence.
- She doesn’t demand fancy dates or cozy places - she only longs for you to spend some time with her.
- She doesn’t ask you to give up. Rather she tells the things your mom used to tell to motivate you in your life. A real girlfriend behaves like a mom sometimes and that’s why some need the lap of her to sleep.
- She gives in her 100% and doesn’t expect the same. Although most expect, they don’t really show. They take all the hurt in, but never show them.
- She will wait a entire day/night just to speak with you. You might be busy with work/business or any meet with your friends - she will wait the whole long day to speak to you.
- She becomes jealous, but doesn’t let this affect your relationship. But one must not take this for granted.
- She will be missing you the next second you say - bye/goodnight when you drop her a text or drop her at home.
- When she loves you so deeply, the trust she will develop on you is so large that she will easily forgive you. Don’t take this for granted.
- She will share everything with you. Everything means everything. Every single event in her life will be shared and there will be no secrets that she will hold from you.
- She will be proud of you even when you lift a small rock and will be the first person to be happiest when you achieve something in your life.
- She will never complain about you to her friends, rather say that something is wrong and give her 100% to make that straight.
- She will never see your caste or she will never see your religion or whatever diversive thing it is, as Anubhav Jain bro says “If she is mine, her faith is mine, same will apply to her”. She doesn’t really think of that.
- She will never remind you of your past or judge you on the basis of your past. Rather, she will be looking forward for the future with you.
- If there is a problem between you both, she will make sure you both solve it together, find a solution and sort it out. She doesn’t really think of a breakup if she’s real.
- She will try to give in her 100% and adjust with you and will try to save the relationship at any cost.
Real girlfriends are rare. When a real girlfriend enters your life, she becomes a wife material and not a oyo material. Treat her like your queen and don’t take her for granted.
15 Things Women Only Do With The Men They Love
1. Body contact
When we hate someone, we often say to him: "Don't touch me!" But we would like to attach the person we like. Because only when we are close enough and trust a person will we allow him to have such close contact with us.
If your girlfriend really likes you, she will actively keep close with you. And she won’t refuse your closeness.
Generally speaking, after dating, the frequency of physical contact also shows the degree of intimacy between two people. Telling a little secret: more than 80% of couples who often hold hands, hug, and kiss, must have sex life.
While sitting face to face at the table, if your girlfriend unconsciously puts her bag and tissues between you, as if building a city wall, it means that she is wary of you.
Because of the biological instincts, we are always sitting in front of things that are offensive, and subconsciously we can fight each other at any time, or want to escape.
2. Eye Contact
In fact, when you like a person, your eyes are the first place to be exposed. Girls who like you look at you with a smile in their eyes.
Eye contact is the easiest detail to reveal a person's inner heart in the action.
If your girlfriend likes you, then the first and most important expression in the eyes is:
When she sees you, her eyes often have a smile, and she must be very energetic, and sometimes even open her eyes involuntarily.
If these are too detailed for you, there is actually an easier way to identify it: How long do her eyes look at you when she is with you?
If she spends most of the time with you looking around or looking down on her mobile phone, she must think you are very boring and she doesn't even want to look at you.
If knowing that she doesn't love you will hurt you worse than what you're going through now, don't ask.
How Girls REALLY Want You To Talk To Them
There's a gap between loving someone and not loving them. In that gap is confusion. Some people can never get out of it. These are people who have been played before by people who told them that they loved them, only to use them and take advantage of them. They don't really want love and don't trust it. Other people in that gap are people who feel one way sometimes and another way at others. For instance if a partner is an occasional idiot or bully, but great in bed and often funny, kind and generous, one might feel ambivalent about the whole situation. Some people, mostly women, have seen their loved ones be in bad marriages and want to make sure that they're not going down the same path. They see love and marriage as a way to be under someone else's control and they value their own ability to make free choices way too much to want any part of it so even if they love a person, they're slow to give into it.
If you said it and she didn't, there's a clear indication that there are some issues there. If you can stand it, let it go for a few days. Figure that the situation isn't going to change much in that time, but you've given her a lot to think about. When you're in a private setting the next time, bring it up. Tell her that you realized that there must be some issues holding her back and you wondered what they were. The alternative is to ask and either be told that she doesn't love you, though she may, or be told that she does love you even if she doesn't.
Are You Sexually Attractive To Women? (This Test Will Tell You)
Basically, no. In what ways do you love her? Count the ways for her. Try to hold her hand. Call her by your family name to her face, and see if it shocks her or makes her blush. Introduce yourself with her family name (it’s not an option commonly taken, and it happens to be my choice). Be free with your offers of a hug. Does she trust you that much? Does she avoid your whiskers? Imagine some music in your head (or put it on a boom box) and try to dance with her when it’s not scheduled. Squeeze her shoulders. If you write love letters to her, then read them to her face; same with dirty questions. Suit up and join her church, or meet her family at the door.
“A love will tell you they love you endlessly. A true love will tell everyone else they love you endlessly despite the embarrassment factor.”
With this type of question I like to go with the HELL YES or HELL NO rule. Now there are multiple reasons and to why she may not have said it
7 Hidden Things Women Do When They Like You! (Learn To Spot These Signs) | Marni
- She may have been too shocked from you saying it and not responded
- She doesn't love you and doesn't know how to tell you
- It's been a very short time in the relationship and you freaked her out
- She loves you and was too shy to say it back at the time
But the one thing that all of these have in come is one thing: none of them was a HELL YES. This means you leave it alone because anything that isn't a HELL YES is a no.
Assume she didn't say it because she doesn't love you yet and give her time to sort out her feelings, don't force her to decide right now whether or not she’s love you, when she's ready to say it she will.
Treat her as you normally would and if you can see it makes her uncomfortable with you saying ‘I love you’ then don't do it. Allow her some time to think and let the love grow naturally, sometimes one person falls in love faster than the other.
Don't ask her, when she's ready she will tell you.
Why you should NEVER ask a man if he loves you...
You can’t interrogate her.
But you can watch what she does. And the way she behaves.
You can notice any changes in her behavior.
When my first wife wanted to leave me, she told me she’s
“just too tired. And feels like she needs a break”
Never a big sports fan, suddenly she joins some type of a martial arts class at work.
I never quite figured that she wanted a break from me. And she probably wanted to punch me, that’s why she went to study karate.
The signs were flashing red in my face.
But I was too blind to see them.
Like she’d get a bonus and hide from me. And how she took out a bunch of credit cards in her name so she can pay for whatever she wants.
How to know if she likes you or doesn't
And how she ordered a safety deposit box at the bank… and made me pay for it.
Can the signs get more obvious?
But what can you do? You can’t stop the speeding train.
The best course of action is realize that if you have your suspicions, you’re probably right.
Prepare yourself. Start investing in yourself.
Go to the gym, start working out. Develop your social skills. Become more interesting and fun to be around. Start dressing better.
And whatever you do, don’t get on your knees and beg her not to leave you.
You can’t beg for love. Just doesn’t work.
But what does work is moving on and starting to talk to more people. Make a rule to talk to a new person each day.
Talk to anyone - young and old. At the book store, grocery checkout line, at waiting for a bus.
It will get better. I promise. It always does.
A year later you’ll feel like you’re on top of the world.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. – Abraham Lincoln
Should You Ask Your Girlfriend if She is Still Attracted to You?
If there’s one thing that most men eventually learn in life, it’s that sometimes it’s better to say nothing at all.
And this lesson is arguably best applied when it comes to asking women certain questions. You may have already realized this the last time you asked a girl how old she was—or worse, how much she weighed.
We’ve all been there. You’ve dropped the first question that (for whatever reason) came to your mind and, were met with daggers / a drink to the face / a kick to the shin (pick your poison).
To be clear, we’re not telling you to ramp up the awkward silences. When it comes to questions you should ask women, you’ll find 120 of them right here.
Rather, every man should be aware of the questions which will not add any real value to your interactions.
How To Turn Insecurity Into Confidence
As usual, gentlemen, we’ve taken care of the legwork for you. Here are 20 questions you should never ask a woman, in no particular order.
1. Can I kiss you?
It’s generally not a good idea to ask her before going in for the kiss.
Assuming you’re on a date and that the circumstances are right, it’s ‘less square’ to just go for it.
Why?
First off, there are plenty of ways to test the water without vocalizing the request (raise a hand to her cheek and brush her hair out of her face. If she pulls back a bit from your touch, you know the kiss is a no-go).
Secondly, asking for a kiss isn’t necessarily wrong by itself. But it puts you at risk for sacrificing masculine frame.
For best results, make sure to test the water with some innocuous touching/flirting first, then go in for the smooth-move when her body language has given you the ‘green light.’
2. Why won’t you talk to me?
Post-commitment, this isn’t such a bad question (when posed within the context of you holding masculine frame and checking on her out of a sense of care, responsibility, and boundaries within the relationship—and not out of insecurity).
How To Know If She Likes You (11 Signs A Girl Gives When She's Into You)
But pre-commitment? Asking this question puts you at serious risk of sounding desperate and clingy—neither of which are attractive masculine traits.
Concentrate on pursuing your own purpose in life, and not caring as much if a woman does or doesn’t want to talk to you.
A better question to ask would be “You seem quiet today. Is everything ok?”
3. You look different today, why’s that?
If this is meant as a compliment to acknowledge something ‘new’ she’s done (like getting a haircut), then you may be able to pull it off in a teasing, mischievous fashion.
But if it’s meant as a neg or a put-down, it likely isn’t a good idea.
Whether she does or doesn’t look different, this question lacks tact and doesn’t really go anywhere meaningful.
A better question to ask would be something like “I like that dress! Is it new?”
4. You’re looking tired today, did you not get a good night’s sleep?
Calling out a lady’s tired looks (even if she truly does look tired) may hurt her feelings and make her feel like you think she’s unattractive.
8 signs to know if a woman is attracted to you
Instead, consider an alternative question. “I’ve been looking forward to catching up with you. Tell me how your last few days have been.”
5. I know you’ve got a boyfriend, but can we be friends?
If you truly just want to be friends, then there’s nothing wrong with this question. Yes, it will make you seem less attractive—but if all you want is friendship, then that shouldn’t matter to you anyway.
But if you have ulterior motives (i.e. you actually want to sleep with her), then just skip it.
Here’s the thing. A high value man doesn’t ask for people to be his friends. He naturally attracts friends by being awesome, likeable, and a winner.
6. How old are you?
This actually isn’t a bad question to ask a woman who looks to be under 25-27, as long as she’s younger than you.
But if you ask a 30-40+ year old this question, you may run the risk of making her feel a bit self-concious. It may be better to let this one sit until you know each other better.
Does She Love Me? She Tells Me She's Loves Me!
7. I don’t know, what do you want to do?
Every girl wants a guy who’ll be the man and lead with a decision.
As the man, the ball is in your court to make a plan.
You can ask her if she has a preference.
“Do you prefer movies or concerts?”
But never ultimately put the decision of ‘what to do’ onto her. It’ll make you look weak, disorganized, and apathetic—none of which are attractive traits.
Further Reading
Bad Habits Every Man Should Stop Guy Addicted to Phone While Girlfriend Upset and Looks Away
10 Common Bad Habits Every Man Should Stop Immediately
Gentlemen, this article isn’t about shaming. It’s about changing. And the fastest way to grow as a man is to know what your bad habits are and stop them. Today.
She Doesn’t Want a Relationship But She Likes Me…what should I do?
8. Is that what you’re going to wear tonight?
Implication: “That looks terrible, what were you thinking?”
Unless your girl is completely off the mark on dress code, this is a risky line to take, boys.
If you feel like you need to correct her fashion choices, you should probably just cut her loose and court a woman who’s more in-line with your style.
9. Are you pregnant?
This is a risky one, because if she’s not pregnant, you pretty much just called her ‘fat.’
Best way to handle this one? Just ride it out and don’t mention anything. If she doesn’t bring it up, you can casually bring up a conversation about your thoughts on having children in the future.
If she still doesn’t mention it, and if you’re not fond of the way she looks, it’s probably best to move on and date someone else.
6 Signs She Likes You | She Likes You If She Does This!
10. How many guys have you been with?
I’m not a huge fan of this question because asking it out of a very specific context can put you at risk of looking jealous and insecure—which is a massive turn-off and a low-value marker.
There’s one caveat, however. If she asks you the question first, it’s fair game to reverse it.
11. Is your sister attractive?
This is a risky question. For women, competing for the attention of a dating partner with a sibling feels far worse than competing with a stranger.
It just hits closer to home, in every way imaginable.
Whether you’re pre-commitment or post-commitment, stay out of this territory unless you’re willing to risk complete and total disaster.
12. Are you on your period?
This is a dangerous question to ask because, in her mind, it implies that you’re asking her if she’s ‘available for sex,’ which puts you at risk of sounding desperate and low value (trying to secure the ‘prize’ through agreement ahead of time instead of just making your move).
How To Know If A Woman Loves You | Top 3 Signs She Does NOW!
It’s also crass and insensitive.
What should you do instead?
Carry on and make your move as usual. If she informs you that she can’t because she’s on her period, tell her you don’t mind (if you don’t), but be understanding if she’s not down with it—especially if you’ve never slept together before.
That’s a big step for some women, and being understanding is the right move on your part.
13. Can I borrow some money?
How to turn a girl off in 5 words. Women seek providers, not parasites.
Further Reading
model wearing navy suit and dark blue shirt
31 Ways to Become a Better Man Starting Today
Do you feel like you’re not living up to your full male potential? I’ve been there. Learn how to be a better man once and for all with these 31 powerful tips.
5 TEMPTING Signs She's Emotionally Attached To You!
14. Do you think I’m attractive?
Asking this question makes it sound like you aren’t confident, so it’s a risky one.
If she’s spending time with you and engaging with you, assume she’s into you. Don’t worry—she’ll bolt soon enough if she’s not.
15. How much do you weigh?
Chapter two of the gentleman’s handbook. Never ask her how much she weighs.
Either you like how she looks, or you don’t. There’s really no reason that a man would need to ask this one.
16. Why do you like wearing [insert piece of clothing]?
I’m not a big fan of this question because even if it’s meant well, you run the risk of sounding judgemental.
Instead, ask something like this:
“I like that dress. Do you feel like the style matches your personality?”
Further Reading
High Maintenance Girl Attractive Brunette Woman in Red Lipstick Makeup and Professional Hairstyle
12 Signs She’s a High Maintenance Girl: Should You Date Her?
She’s hot, fun, and fit, but she’s also a lot of work. Sound familiar? These are the surefire signs she’s a high maintenance girl and how you should handle it.
How to know if she's interested or just being nice
17. Are you in love with me?
This question puts you in dangerous territory. You run a serious risk of sounding low-value and desperate.
Always leave the L-word (and/or bringing up the commitment talk) to her to bring up first. Once she brings it up to you, you can decide if you’re ready for it.
18. Why are you friends with [insert guy’s name]?
This question definitely puts you at risk of sounding jealous or insecure—both of which are serious low-value markers.
As a strong, masculine man, you shouldn’t be threatened by other men in her life. This woman is either into you, or she isn’t. You can either trust her, or you can’t.
If you don’t like her friends, feel like you can’t trust her, or just don’t like how she interacts with other men in-general, bail and find a different woman to date.
Don’t ever try to come between a woman and her friends or control how she interacts with them.
On the same token, if you don’t like her friends, you have every right to hit the road and not feel guilty about it.
Subtle Signs She is Falling in Love with You | Top 8 Signs
19. Why are you single?
This is an interesting question because it’s almost ok, but not quite.
It can make the conversation sound more like an interrogation than a conversation.
Instead, phrase it like this (and by the way, this is a question that you SHOULD always ask when you meet someone new):
“So tell me about your relationship history. What kinds of dating and relationship experiences have you had?”
A high-value woman won’t mind talking about her relationship history in the slightest, as long as you’re willing to return the favor.
Red Flag Warning: If everything she has to say about her exes is negative (they were toxic, they were abusive, they were all pieces of crap, etc.), then head for the hills.
Odds are very good that those men were not all bad. The common denominator is likely her.
Eye Contact and Women (evolution truth) - Jordan Peterson
Further Reading
High Maintenance Girl Attractive Brunette Woman in Red Lipstick Makeup and Professional Hairstyle
12 Signs She’s a High Maintenance Girl: Should You Date Her?
She’s hot, fun, and fit, but she’s also a lot of work. Sound familiar? These are the surefire signs she’s a high maintenance girl and how you should handle it.
20. Are you really going to eat that?
Unless this is said in a playful way, hold off on the food judgment.
Instead, ask a question like this:
“Wow, that dish looks exotic/rugged/spicy. Have you ever had it before, or is this a new experiment?”
Conclusion
When it comes to many of the above questions, context is key. If you’re maintaining a strong masculine frame, have a great rapport with the girl, or are in a relationship already, you may be able to get away with a few of them.
If you’re not the best at maintaining a conversation, you might want to learn about the best topics to talk about with women.
Jordan Peterson: Why some men can't get women
The goal isn’t to stop being playful or teasing. Teasing is a great way to build attraction with a woman and show that you have a sense of humor.
We merely want you to avoid the questions that put you at risk of coming off as low-value, insecure, desperate, etc.
Well I would suggest rather than asking her something, observe her closely if you don't. There are many ways of telling if the person loves you and cares for you by observing how they are around you. I once read a good article on this and I am posting it below:
"How to Know If a Girl Loves You
How to know if a girl loves you? It’s actually right easy. You just have to know what the signs are. Women who are in love behave in a certain way. Once you know the right things to look for, you’ll be amazed that you never noticed them before. In fact, you might look back and slap yourself on the forehead when you realize how many girls were in love with you before. Read on for the definitive guide on how to know if a girl loves you.
Her Friends Know All About You
When a girl loves you, her friends know all about you. In fact, she probably goes on and on about you more than they even want to hear about. Still, they’re going to be happy for her that she’s in love. They’re also going to know all kinds of details about you, both things that are going on between you and the girl who is in love with you, as well as other personal details that no second-degree acquaintance would ever know. Examples include your favorite foods, stories about things that happened to you at work and basically anything else that a woman who is in love with you would notice and think is important, even if no one else did.
How to Develop Thick Skin & Become Mentally Tough - Jordan Peterson Motivation
She Chases After You
The Art of Charm is all about teaching you how to get girls to chase after you. One way to get a girl to chase after you? Get her to fall in love. When a woman falls in love with a man, few things are going to keep her from getting what she wants. Women are very purpose-driven and resilient in this regard. If she’s making it known that you’re the man that she wants, both in word and in deed, it’s a pretty clear method of how to know if a girl loves you. Women are generally not so forward in chasing after men that they aren’t in love with.
She Wants More of Your Time
The Saturday night date isn’t enough anymore. She wants more and more of your time. Maybe she wants to come by after work to make you dinner. Maybe she wants to meet for coffee during your lunch break. The specifics don’t really matter. The point is this: If the girl is always looking for more and more of your time, this can be a sign that she’s in love with you or on her way there. After all, if she were only casually interested, she wouldn’t feel the need to go for more and more of your time.
She Does Lots of Little Things For You
Remember: People, women or otherwise, generally don’t go out of their way to do tons of small favors for just anyone. If your girl is doing a lot of little things for you, this is a sign that you’re always on her mind, which in itself can be a sign that she’s fall in love with you. Don’t discount the size of the favor, gift or surprise. Remember what your mother said: It’s the thought that counts. If she’s putting that much thought into your happiness, this can mean that she’s in love with you.
She Tells You
Be Dangerous But Disciplined - Jocko Willink & Jordan Peterson
This one seems like a “duh” but some guys can be pretty thick. If a girl tells you that she loves you, she’s not doing it to hear herself talk. She’s doing it because she loves you. Believe her."
Liking someone new can be an exciting, but nerve-wrecking feeling. Getting a girl to admit that she likes you can be a bit tricky, especially if you're not ready to tell her that you like her. Treating a girl well, flirting with her, and being honest about your feelings are all great ways to give her the confidence to tell you that she likes you. Once you are able to make a girl feel comfortable, she'll be more likely to be honest about her feelings for you.
Part1Having an Honest Conversation With Her
1Tell her how you feel.[1] If the subtle hints you're giving a girl don't cause her to admit that she likes you, try having a blunt conversation with her. Girls appreciate honesty, and don't like to feel like they are getting played, so you making the first move will make her feel more comfortable. Telling her that you have feelings for her may cause her to tell you that she likes you as well.[2]
2Ask her if she likes you.[3] If you're not getting a clear answer from her, you should simply ask her if she likes you. Don't catch her by surprise or make her feel uncomfortable. Express to her that you have feelings for her and ask her if she feels the same way. Let her know that her actions have led you to believe that she likes you, and you want to know for sure.- You can try: "When we talk and spend time together, I feel like we have a great connection. I've been wanting to ask you if you have feelings for me, because I have feelings for you."[4]
- You could also try saying something like, "I've liked you for a while now, and I was hoping you had feelings for me too. Do you?"
3Ask her on a date.[5] The ultimate way to get a girl to admit that she likes you is to ask her on a date. If she agrees, she's basically telling you that she's interested in you as well. This may take some courage, but if you really like this girl and want to find out if she likes you, it will be worth it.
4Do not pressure a girl into saying something she doesn't mean. Just because you like a girl doesn't mean she has to like you back. If you have expressed that you like her and she has told you that she doesn't feel the same way, you need to respect her choice. If a girl tells you that she doesn't like you, do not be upset with her or yell at her.- If a girl tells you she doesn't like you back but you still want to be friends, you should say something like "I understand. I still think that you're an amazing person, and I'd still like to be friends."
- If a girl tells you she doesn't like you back and you're not sure if you can handle being friends, you should keep your response sweet and simple. Say something like "I understand. Thanks for being honest with me."
Part2Spending Time With Her
1Spend time together alone. If you like a girl, and you're pretty sure she likes you, it's important to spend some alone time together. Hanging out with a group of friends together can be fun, but it won't allow you two to make a personal connection. Break off from your group of friends from time to time to have meaningful conversations and get to know each other one-on-one.- 2Ask her questions about her life. Talk to her about her goals and her dreams, about her family, and about her interests. Showing her that you genuinely care about her will make it easier for her to open up to you about her feelings for you.[6]
- You’ll also learn more about her, which can make future conversations more intimate and easier to initiate.
3Do fun things together. If you do something fun together, she will remember it. Ask her what types of things she likes to do for fun, and do those things. Once she realizes that she has enjoyed hanging out with you on multiple occasions, she may be more comfortable admitting that she likes you.- Creating enjoyable memories together is a great way to continuously remind someone how much they enjoy spending time with you.
4Pay attention to her body language. If you're unsure whether or not a girl likes you, her body language is usually a dead giveaway. Pay attention to how a girl acts when she is around you. She might be too shy to actually tell you that she likes you, but her body language will be pretty obvious.- If she gives you her full attention when you speak, this can sometimes be a sign. When you're talking with a group of people, it's easy for people to get distracted and not give you their full interest. However, if she makes a point to pay attention to everything you say, this could be a sign that she likes you.
- Does she play with her hair around you? Girls often flirt with their body language by twirling their hair when they're around someone they like. If a girl is consistently playing with her hair in a flirty way, this could be a sign she likes you. Don't confuse this with a girl whose hair is in her way, or a girl who is putting her hair in a ponytail.[7]
- Does she always stay close to you or find reasons to touch you? A girl will go out of her way to be physically near you if she likes you. She'll grab your arm if you make her laugh, she'll always sit next to you, etc.
- Does she flirt with you? This is the most obvious sign, but a girl probably likes you if she's always flirting with you.
5Find out if she has told her friends about you. When a girl likes you, she almost always tells her friends about you. In fact, they probably know as much about you as she does. If she doesn't come right out and tell you that she's told her friends about you, you can find out if she's told her friends about you in a few different ways.- Tell her a story about you telling your friends about her. For example, say "I was telling my roommate that you've never seen The Lion King, and he couldn't believe it!" If you share a story like this, she may be more willing to share one of her own.
- Ask her if she's talked to her friends about a conversation that the two of you had. If the two of you were talking about a book or a movie and had a funny disagreement, ask her if she asked her friends their opinion. If she has talked to her friends, she more than likely has told them about you.[8]
Part3Dropping Hints That You Like Her
1Flirt with her. If you're too shy to just tell a girl that you like her, being flirtatious is a great way to show her. Give her compliments, joke around with her, be playful, and throw in casual comments or jokes about you two in a romantic way.- For example, if she makes a comment about a bad date in her past, say something like "Our dates would be SO much better than that" with a smile.
- If you notice she's wearing new perfume, make a comment like "I see you're wearing a new perfume for me." Always say these comments in a light-hearted, relaxed manner.[9]
2Take note of the things she tells you. Pay attention when the girl you like talks to you, and apply what they've told you to your future actions.[10] Listen to the things she says she likes and doesn't like, and remember those things. When you show a girl that you like her, she will be more likely to be honest about her feelings for you. If she's scared that you don't like her back, she'll be more hesitant to tell you.- For example, if she mentions she loves cupcakes, bring her a cupcake next time you see her.
- If she mentions that she's struggling with a subject in school, offer to help her out.[11]
3Do kind gestures for her. Girls notice when you do kind things for them, so do kind things for the girl that you like. Don't overdo it, or the girl might begin to feel smothered. Give her compliments and gifts every once in awhile (maybe 2-3 times per week) instead of every day.- Kind gestures can include giving her compliments, buying her flowers, offering to rub her back or feet of she complains they are hurting, getting her presents, bringing her lunch, etc.
4Ask her questions about dating. Direct your conversations toward romantic topics, like which qualities she thinks are most important in significant other. Ask her about her biggest turn-offs, too. When you engage in this type of conversation with someone who likes you, she may mention good qualities that you possess. Pay attention to see if she's dropping clues about you.- If you initiate this type of conversation, a girl might even go so far as to tell you that she likes you.[12]
I think way the best to approach this is not to ‘question’ whether she loves you or not, but to gently nudge her to explore her own feelings, for example:
“Hon, the other night, I said those ‘three little words’ for the first time to you, because I wanted you to know what is in my heart…….I do truly love you. I didn’t do this to elicit a similar answer from you, however, I don’t quite know what to make of your lack of response. Could you please share with me, in your own words, your feelings towards me in this relationship? Communication between two people who care about each other is very important in a relationship, and I want to create a safe space for you to do so.”
This allows your girlfriend to take ownership of her feelings, without feeling obliged to say anything she doesn’t truly feel, just to appease you. If she does not respond to your gentle inquiry, there may be issues going on with her, perhaps irrespective of the relationship between the two of you. But at the very least, she should honor the relationship by letting you know how she feels and where the relationship stands. Give her a week or so to process, then gently bring up the issue again. If she still refuses to engage with you, you may be more emotionally invested in the relationship than she is.
