Chris Rock's Two Rules for Being in a Relationship | Netflix Is A Joke
For me it starts with respect, attention, affection, being considerate, helpful, some one who appreciates my thoughts, efforts & work, a supportive person with a imaginative mind, someone who can hold an intellectual conversation, you have to be great in bed, you have to be open minded & not judgemental, you have to be gentle,
To be loved unconditionally in return. Most people have no clue what love is let alone unconditional love.
I don’t think there is such a thing as unconditional love. I think if you could love unconditionally then you would love everyone equally.
for a woman to love a man or a man to love a woman there has to be respect, and attraction.
Even their own child comes with a condition, the condition being that they are their child, and a fostered child is in a sense the same. To become a god might be what it takes, genuine love is about as far as it can be reasonably taken for humans. Unconditional love decries that you should love your neighbors child as your own flesh and blood, a surrogate parent or not, that a third party will never cause it to waver, etc.
Chris Rock - Women Don't Like Nice Guys
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She would have to become God, because only God (if God exists) can love unconditionally.
All of us humans are flawed, and so our love is flawed also. And we love only as long as we get something back or have not yet given up on getting something back.
Not to be cynical .. even saints are compassionate because being compassionate makes them happy. It is still wanting something, although that “something” is self-created within themselves.
Unconditional love is from and for pets.
Mothers and sometimes fathers can love their children unconditionally.
Romantic love should never, ever be unconditional. Unconditional love means abuse is acceptable.
BOUNDLESS.
THAT'S the highest level of romantic love.
Loving each other BOUNDLESSLY, that's the ideal way to love, without limits, but not without conditions.
Women Will Not Love You Unconditionally
My wife and I don’t love unconditionally. There were ways I behaved in the early part of our marriage that she quite rightfully didn’t like. She didn’t unconditionally accept me as I was. She raised the issues, and we ended up going through counseling and other efforts that led to growth and deeper empathy by both of us and major improvements in communication.
I don’t want unconditional love, nor do I trust it. I want a relationship that is built on mutual commitment, with corresponding accountability.
I am comfortable that my wife loves me deeply. But if at some time my mental faculties decline and I lose my reason or for any reason become hurtful to her, I don’t want her to accept abuse from the person I’ve become. I’d want her to put her safety and peace of mind first.
Can She Love You? | Youre Wrong About Women | False Assumptions About How Women Love
What does it take to love unconditionally?
The idea of unconditional love in relationships is a noble one. Each of us wants to be loved as we are, without conditions, and to see ourselves as capable of bestowing unconditional love on our partners. However, this type of love, in its narrowest definition, is difficult, if not impossible.
What Is Unconditional Love?
Part of the problem with unconditional love in relationships is the lack of understanding of what it means.
Most of us will think of a parent's love for a child, or a child's love for a parent, as unconditional love. This type of love depends on nothing other than the familial bond and doesn't break down based on what the child or parent does—at least in an ideal scenario.
In the purest sense, unconditional love is about caring about the happiness of another person without any concern for how it benefits you. Research tells us that the parts of the brain that light up during unconditional love are similar to those involved in romantic love and maternal love, and are linked to the brain's reward system. This suggests that unconditional love may be rewarding without receiving anything in return.1
The Myth of Unconditional Love
Compassionate vs. Passionate Love
Romantic Love
The question becomes whether adults in relationships can also show each other this type of unconditional love. To feel safe in a relationship, it makes sense that you need to feel as though the other person is not going to abandon you based on a whim. You need to know that the person is committed to loving you unconditionally no matter what the future brings.
The problem is that this definition in romantic relationships can break down under numerous conditions and for good reason. As much as you might love a person with a liar, cheater, or person with an alcohol use disorder unconditionally, this isn't healthy for you as a person. This means the definition of unconditional love in romantic relationships needs to be expanded a bit.
What True Love Really Is
For love to continue, there must be mutual respect, not an attitude of your partner that "you will put up with me, no matter what I do."
Unconditional Positive Regard
This brings us to the topic of unconditional positive regard, probably a closer approximation of what we mean by unconditional love in relationships. In this sense, unconditional love doesn't mean always giving people what they want or always accepting what they do, at the expense of your own needs.
Does love exist?
Instead, it is a mature type of love that means treating the other person with love and respect, even while maintaining your boundaries and protecting yourself. Whereas the immature version of unconditional love would have you feeling as though you must be everything to the other person, the mature version has you recognize that your only obligation, in the face of the other's behavior, is to communicate your message with love and respect.
Unconditional positive regard means the following:
Being attentive and attuned, even while you are setting limits and boundaries.
Honoring the requests of others when you are able to do so without harming yourself.
Not being harsh or dismissive, as this does not lead to compromise or solutions.
Being assertive—letting the other person know where you stand so that together you can work out the best outcome for the two of you together.
Tips for Offering Unconditional Love
When we think about how to go about loving someone unconditionally in a relationship, the following points emerge:
Tenzin Palmo Jetsunma - The difference between Genuine Love and Attachment
Practice open communication, so that both of your needs can be met.
Communicate in a non-defensive way. Express your feelings while listening and taking the other person's feelings into account.
Don't let the little annoyances of life override your love. Unconditional love means seeing past the squabbles about the little things in life. If you have a commitment of love that is larger than those things, you will have staying power.
Share power in your relationship. No one person should get everything they want, or this will lead to resentment by the other person.
Falling Out of Love
We are programmed in life to have conditional love. You love your husband because of his unique traits and qualities that attracted you to him. It's why you love him and not another man. The question becomes, if he changes, at what point is love withdrawn?
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True mature love should come with no strings attached. It is a behavior, rather than a feeling, a point of confusion that can lead to the breakdown of romantic relationships. The satisfaction of unconditional love should come from the act of giving it to the other person, not from what you receive in return.
How to Love Unconditionally: Tips on How to Love Someone Unconditionally | Loving Unconditionally
If we think about unconditional love as the "expression of our kindest self," it can be maintained even if a relationship does not survive. You might know couples who still love each other but are no longer together. If a relationship is hurting you more than it is good to you, it is okay to feel unconditional love but let the relationship go.
Unconditional love is basic goodness and the total acceptance of someone, but it does not mean tolerating abuse, neglect, or other deal breakers.
What about the less clear area of falling out of love with someone? If you still show them unconditional love, you will find a way to kindly and gently end the relationship.
In essence, when we first fall in love, it's in an unconditional state, and we can't ever imagine not feeling this way about the other person. But we live in a conditional world, and relationships do end. We all have different tastes and needs, and these can change over time.
How to love and be loved | Billy Ward | TEDxFoggyBottom
One thing is certain; relationships that are completely lacking in unconditional love are unlikely to succeed. Beliefs and lifestyle are likely to change over time, and if you aren't willing to see your partner go through changes, this could spell the end for the two of you.
A Word From Verywell
You can be more to your partner when you offer unconditional love in the mature sense. One way to tap into this is to be mindful of the present moment. If you struggle with this, consider practicing mindfulness meditation. This will help you slow down and become aware of your relationship needs.
It can also be helpful to learn how to show yourself the same unconditional love that you are trying to show to your partner. If you don't show it to yourself, you might be looking for too much from your partner—looking for him or her to prop you up.
How to Stay in Love | Pastor Godman Akinlabi
As women, one of our best traits is our sensitivity and ability to love. We naturally care about others and want to make their lives better in any way we can. For some of us, our caring nature and unconditional love actually become our downfall and cause several common struggles.1. WE
GIVE PEOPLE WAY TOO MANY CHANCES.
Not everyone deserves a second, third, or fourth chance, but we give them those chances anyway because it’s so hard for us to let go when we love someone.
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2. WE WANT TO HAVE FAITH IN OTHER PEOPLE SO BADLY.
That’s a struggle because many people don’t deserve faith, and it shakes us to our core when our faith in the goodness of mankind is let down once again.
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We have generous hearts, and some people take that as an invitation to take advantage of us. When that happens, we vow to be less generous in the future but usually can’t follow through with that because it’s just not in our nature.
5. WE DEVELOP TRUST ISSUES AFTER PEOPLE SCREW US OVER.
Even worse, we sometimes develop guilt about our own trust issues because we really do want to trust people.
Even if the person asking the favor has screwed us over before, it’s not in our nature to turn down someone who’s asking for help.
7. WE FORGIVE PEOPLE WHO DEFINITELY DON’T DESERVE IT.
When someone wrongs us, others tell us that we should be on a warpath to destroy their life, but we just aren’t wired that way. Even though we’re legitimately angry, we don’t like holding onto negative feelings so forgiveness is in our nature.
We’re so nice that we just can’t take such a negative path, even against someone who hurt us. We realize that two wrongs don’t make a right, so we try to just let it go.
9. WE HOLD IN OUR ANGER TO SPARE OTHERS’ FEELINGS, AND IT BUILDS UP.
When we’ve been holding onto the anger for too long, it starts to eat away at our souls but we don’t enjoy confrontations, so we just push it down further until it feels like we’re about to explode.
10. WHEN WE REACH OUR LIMIT AND SNAP, PEOPLE ARE SHOCKED.
We don’t like having negative reactions and scaring people, but everyone has a limit. If people don’t want to see our rare ugly side, they shouldn’t provoke it.
11. WE FEEL GUILTY ABOUT FEELING ANGRY, EVEN WHEN IT’S JUSTIFIED.
It’s hard for us to stand up for ourselves sometimes because it’s in our nature to prioritize others above ourselves, but we know when we have every right to be angry and when we would be perfectly justified in wanting an apology. Even then, we usually can’t find the strength to express those feelings.
Last month I got married to Anaya but eventually we got separated due to some reasons.
Anaya had a twin sister Sakshi. They were so alike that even their parents confused them with each other. Then came one fine day.
(I came from office. I didn’t know Sakshi had came to visit Anaya)
Me :- Anaya I really hate my work yaar. My boss is such a douche bag.
Sakshi :- Give me a hug baby. Let me heal you.
(I hugged her. I kissed her on the cheek and picked her up and a smile just went off from her face. It turned into disgust)
Sakshi :- Anaya is in the bathroom. I am Sakshi.
(I instantly put her down and moved away)
Me :- What?? But but…..
Sakshi :- Stop. Its fine.
(30 minutes later)
How To UNCONDITIONALLY Love Someone?: Part 4: BK Shivani at Seattle, Washington (English)
(I heard the bathroom door unlock and swiftly went to the dressing room)
Me :- Hey Anaya I think I made a mistake today. I am really sorry but I need to be honest with you.
Sakshi :- Yes. What happened baby?
Me :- I confused between you and Sakshi and pecked her on the cheek. I promise I would never do that again.
Sakshi :- But I didn’t call Sakshi.
Me :- What ??
Sakshi :- How was my prank darling? XD XD
Me :- So it was you who I kissed. You bitch.
(I went to her and grabbed her and bite her cheek)
Sakshi :- Its Sakshi again !!
Me :- What the hell ?? Are you mad?
(Sakshi giggled)
Attraction (Why You Are Attracted To The People You're Attracted To)
(I ran out of my house watching backwards and crashed into someone)
Me :- Hey hey hey !! Thank god I found you Anaya. I have to tell you something.
Sakshi :- Yeah. Say. But hug me na. I missed you while you were at work.
(I hugged her and recited everything)
Sakshi :- Okay okay don’t cry now. I am with you. I will face that bitch.
Me :- I love you so much. (I kissed her)
(Sakshi giggled)
Me :- What ?
Sakshi :- Look who’s standing at the balcony watching you.
Me :- Oh f*ck is that you Anaya ??
What can it take for a woman to love unconditionally ?
Her husband should’t kiss her sister.
What is unconditional love example?
For those who grew up listening to love songs, we bet you were pretty busy imagining what your future love life would look like and daydreaming about who you’ll be with forever and ever. Ahhhh romance. We remember it well! But if you haven’t been in a relationship where unconditional love is a major player, you might not totally know what it means or what it’s even supposed to look like! We’ve gotchu, boo.
You Deserve To Be Loved Unconditionally
Unconditional love has a lot of layers. Shrek would probably argue that it resembles an onion or an ogre. Relationships aren’t easy, no matter what the dynamic is, and there can be a lot to consider when difficult and strenuous situations pop up. And sometimes when this happens, the unconditional-ness of unconditional love can start to feel more like an obligation rather than a selfless act of kindness.
So, let’s break it allll down together! We’re getting into what unconditional love really is and what it REALLY isn’t.
What Is Unconditional Love?
Unconditional. WOW that’s a heavy word, isn’t it? No strings attached, no expectations, no fine print, just… unconditional. This word is often paired together with ‘love’ and we loooove love!
How do I empower myself to believe I deserve love? — Susan Winter
The problem with the term “unconditional love” is that it has a different definition for everyone who uses it. And this can get a little tricky because it can lead to us putting unrealistic expectations on ourselves or our partners. For some people, it might mean defending a friend regardless of whether they are right or wrong. For others, it might mean being the ‘responsible one’ and calling out a friend when they’re making a questionable decision. Either way, it’s really about giving in to the vulnerability of loving someone wholeheartedly.
Unconditional love can be between just about anyone in any kind of relationship. Friendships, romantic relationships, the relationship between a parent and a child, you name it! We even see this type of love from our pets. But what does unconditional love really look like?
No Strings Are Attached
Loving someone unconditionally means that you don’t have an ulterior motive or unspoken expectation of obligation from the other person. No conditions. Just love. It’s a totally selfless act of caring for another person without thinking about how these actions could benefit you in the future.
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You just genuinely want to love, help and care for someone! And that’s pretty fucking incredible. It’s one of the best gifts that you could give to another person. The best feeling is when this person is able to reciprocate your no-strings-attached love, because it means that you’re well on your way to fostering a healthy and happy relationship!
Partners Support Each Other
Supporting your partner — or anyone you love for that matter — can bring a lot of happiness and health to a relationship. Helping your partner through tough times, emotional struggles and life changes can help you accomplish more together than you ever likely could on your own. Likewise, you get to share the good times and celebrate your individual wins together! The keys to supporting your partner are open communication, honesty, kindness and equality.
Partners Honour Requests (Without Compromising Themselves)
This is a masssssiiiiveee point that we want to really emphasize. Loving someone unconditionally does not mean that you can’t have boundaries. We’ll get more into boundaries and love a little later, but for now, we have to talk about your needs.
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The person, or people, you love can ask for your help. BUT, you’re not obligated to help or agree to their request if it goes against your own needs, boundaries and morals. And they shouldn’t expect you to compromise yourself to help them. Unconditional love can still be considered unconditional love when boundaries are included. In fact, we HIGHLY recommend it!
Tough Times Are Worked Through With Kindness
It’s only natural for relationships to hit rough patches. No one is perfect and no one has a perfect relationship. You might be close, but we’re allll bound to have a disagreement every once and a while. Forgiveness, kindness, listening skills and calm communication are major players when it comes to working through rough spots. The key is that everyone in the relationship has to enact these techniques because, otherwise, it’s unfair and unkind to the other(s).
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Partners Provide Security For Each Other
With unconditional love, there is no fear or sense of uncertainty. It’s secure, kind and loving. You don’t feel like you have to walk around on eggshells to placate the other person. It’s safe and warm, and it’s an emotional space without judgement that you share with this person.
Examples Of Unconditional Love
“I love that about you.”
“No matter what, your Dad and I will always be proud of you.”
“It’s okay to feel sad.”
How to Create Conscious Intimacy In Your Relationship | Dr. Shefali
“I don’t feel the same way but I understand why _______ is important you.”
“Congratulations! I’m so excited for you! You’ve worked so hard for this.”
“I know you have a really busy day so I’ve made your lunch for you.”
“Have a great day at school honey! Enjoy your lunch. Love, Dad.”
“Hey! I got you something. I saw this in the store and it made me think of you.”
Unhealthy Forms Of Love To Watch For
Many of us feel that when we offer unconditional love to someone we have to continue to love them regardless of any changes — like if they cross boundaries or disregard your needs. We’re here to tell you that’s not true and that it’s actually unhealthy af to do this. This is what conditional love looks like:
Love, Lust & Commitment Discussion | Afest
It Comes With Limits
Loving without boundaries can lead to serious issues, like being unhappy, abused and taken advantage of. You’re not meant to overlook the hurt and pain that another person causes you. It’s not healthy and TOTALLY unfair to you.
Strings ARE Attached
If there are strings attached to love…OOF! That’s not good. Love is not unconditional if you or your partner are expecting the other person to be emotionally obligated in one way or another. When there are strings attached there’s an expectation of something in return. Yes, you should totally expect that the respect and love you give is reciprocated. But, if your partner is expecting you to do something uncomfortable that goes against your own wellbeing, that’s unacceptable.
Love, Marriage & Monogamy | Dan Savage & Esther Perel | Talks at Google
Boundaries Are Ignored
Boundaries are sooooooo important in relationships. It’s important to communicate your boundaries with your partner in a caring and kind way so that the two of you can work to respect the other’s needs. When one person is blatantly ignoring the other’s boundaries the relationship becomes unhealthy. This behaviour can lead to hurt, neglect, pain and even abuse. We DEFINITELY don’t want that to happen to you. Stay strong and don’t let anyone cross a line and disrespect your loving heart!
Inappropriate Behaviour and Disrespect Is Overlooked
If someone has crossed a line, hurt you, disrespected you, and still expects you to accept it all, that’s not love. The meaning of unconditional love isn’t that you overlook this shit and accept it. You are not meant to tolerate abuse and disrespect. That should never — everrrrr — be expected of you by your partner! Remember that your needs matter and you deserve kindness and respect from the other person.
3 Things We Get Wrong About love | Dan Savage
Needs Are Neglected
It’s normal to care for someone else’s needs when you’re in a relationship, but it’s not ok to forget about your own. It’s also not ok for someone to expect you to neglect your needs for their own benefit. That’s some controlling behaviour and we are NOT here for it.
Remember how we said that you are not obligated to assist someone and respond to their request if it compromises you in any way? Apply that shit here! You can still give someone unconditional and selfless love while respecting yourself and your boundaries. You come first, baby!
Examples Of Conditional Love
“I did everything for you and all you’ve done is disappoint me.”
“This is the thanks I get? After everything I’ve given you?”
How to Love Unconditionally - Lisa Nichols
“I would think you’d respect my opinion more than that after all that I’ve given you!”
“My parents would be upset with me if I wasn’t doing well in school.”
“My parents are upset with me because they don’t like the person I’m dating.”
“Our Dad yelled at us when we didn’t match his expectations.”
“Grandma only likes to talk to me when I’m doing well in life.”
“My partner is upset with me because I want to become an artist instead of staying at my office job.”
“My best friend ignores me when I need them most, but always expects me to drop everything and help them.”
What is Unconditional Love? True Love Relationship Tips
“I get chastised if my opinions are even a little different from theirs.”
How To Love Unconditionally, With Boundaries
It is totally 100% possible to love unconditionally while having boundaries for yourself and your partner. It helps both of you know what you need and expect from each other, and serves as a blueprint for how to go about your relationship. And this isn’t just for romantic relationships. This is for allllll relationships. It might be hard to establish these boundaries with people, like your parents or friends, if there is already a lot of history between you. But boundaries are necessary in order to have a healthy and respectful relationship, no matter what the dynamic is.
Be Transparent About Your Expectations
Be honest! It can be hard to tell people what we really want and need, but it’s necessary in order to have the other person respect your boundaries and wishes. They can’t know what they are unless you telllll them.
Have a little sit down with them. Maybe pull out a glass of wine and say “Ok, I want us to have the healthiest relationship possible, so we need to know what the other person wants and needs,” then lay out your expectations for them. If at any point this other person doesn’t respect your boundaries and expectations, then tell them! Don’t hold that shit in! Be honest about how that makes you feel and work together to correct it. (But the key is making sure that they don’t take advantage of you. Remember what we said about that? Good!)
What is the Difference between Conditional and Unconditional Love?
Learn To Listen
Listening has to be a two-way street in any relationship! You can actively work to become a better listener so that you hear and know what your partner needs. Listening helps the other person feel seen, heard, respected and cared for. What beautiful feelings to give to someone you love, right?! When we stop listening, communication breaks down and conflict starts to pop up. And conflict leads to negative emotions, so we want to avoid that as much as we can.
So, open up your ears and open up your heart because learning to love and listen is hella important!
Communicate In A Non-Defensive Way
If you’ve been hurt by your partner, try to approach them in a calm and open manner. Learning to communicate in a healthy and effective way can be difficult when you feel so strongly about things. But conflict can’t be resolved when you both come in hot with emotions running high. That will only help create a defence spiral where the two of you start blaming the other for any issues.
That’s uhh… that’s not going to get you anywhere. So, approach every tough conversation with patience and understanding. But also take no shit! It’s a fine line to walk, but we know you can do it!
How To Tell If Someone Truly Loves You | Femi Ogunjinmi | TEDxXavierUniversity
Notice Control Tactics
If the other person in the relationship is trying to control, gaslight, or manipulate you, shut that shit dowwwwn. We know that it’s not possible to do this in every situation, because safety can be a real concern. But don’t let anyone treat you unfairly. If this is happening, reach out to people around you, contact domestic violence organizations or safe houses in your area for advice or shelter, and reach out to friends and family for help. Keep your eyes peeled for any relationship red flags. YOU ARE DESERVING OF LOVE AND RESPECT, and anyone who makes you feel less than isn’t willing to love you unconditionally.
Share Power
No one person should have the upper-hand in a relationship. That’s an unhealthy and abusive dynamic that can get unsafe really quickly. A relationship isn’t a competition, it’s about sharing your life with another person. There should be respect on both sides and an understanding that you both have value, and you both have to be open to listening and changing.
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Unconditional love, simply put, is the kindest version of ourselves — but we don’t have to offer up this love without bounds. Unconditional love is the choice to love and respect each other every single day. It doesn’t come without its difficulties, but when you get it right, it feels sooooo good. Love has the ability to improve our lives, benefit our mental health and help us become the best possible version of ourselves. Life becomes happier, brighter and more exciting when you have loving people to share it all with.
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I feel unconditional love for my Daddy and my husband.
We have 3 children that I birthed and breastfeed, and use that measure of my children in the first hours after birth and latched them to my breasts, and held their magic life in my arms.
It was unconditional for me. Regardless, they would get my best love and care as they cooed and suckled their true need of me with pure innocents of heart.
Oh that bonding can truly touch this Momma. I felt alive and an expanding purpose to life, destiny, and value.
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My Daddy gave me the same love and as he completed my chemistry with men, became one who reached and fed my soul to shape it and define it.
I never thought I could love another man like the unconditional love I have for Daddy, but I did…
I met Noah…my husband.
Without knowing I was even missing something, a rugged, redneck compliment about my big Texas ass, got his chemistry inside me that night as he ripped apart with intent, my layers of lies to myself, my world, and gave me feelings of guilt (I felt like I was cheating on Daddy), as he reached passed my shames to see the real me.
Unconditional Love (How to Love Unconditionally) - Teal Swan
I would grow ill when Noah walked away from me in those first 2 hours before he seeded me. I actually got sick in his presence from the chemical responses my body was having to him just being engaged in conversation.
A night of crying to myself in his bed, and it was all fear and confusion about how this Stranger could make me feel. I found myself on my knees, holding onto his ankles the next morning, begging him to give me a chance…begging him to keep me for more than a night.
He had reached something in me that measured with my father’s touch. ❤
I was flawed, young (19), proud, short, a Tomboy, a confused Cowgirl who thought feminism was my destiny…until he peeled back my childish defenses, and not only exposed my body, but the flaws of my soul, and with his acceptance of me, completed me like my father.
He showed me my place for him, like my father, and it was proper. ❤
